Archive for 2006

Calista Flockhart Must Feel So Forgotten

Chick #1: Well, no, you look better now, but you were never that skinny, I mean, I never looked at you like “she needs a sandwich”, like…
Chick #2: No, but I haven’t gained any weight, really; my clothes still fit.
Chick #1: But you were never grotesque, like what’s her name.
Chick #2: Nicole Ritchie.
Chick #1: Yeah. –55th & 8th Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

He’s Practically in Jersey

Annoucement: Attention transit police. Please respond. There is a passenger harrassing peeople on the southbound platform. Wait 30 seconds… Announcement repeats three times. Guy on platform takes off his headphones. Headphone guy: Wait — What was that about the harrassing? Other guy on platform: Oh, you don’t have to worry — he’s on the southbound platform. Headphone guy [puts his headphones on again]: Cool. –18th St 1/9 stop, northbound platform Overheard by: diana

I’m About to Anticlimax

Guy #1 eating an ice cream cone: Look at these babes.
Guy #2 eating an ice cream cone: Look at these jugs.
Guy #1: Look at these bombs.
Guy #2: Holy shit! Russian Scuds!
Guy #1: Look at these torpedos!
Guy #2: Look at these fun bags!
Guy #1: Oh yeah! Oh yeah! What a babe!
Guy #2: Yeah, but her friend has to do something with that can. –Broadway & 22nd Overheard by: Eric Wenstrom

Also, I Need a Baby Wipe

Girl #1: Does anyone have Purell?
Friends: No
Girl #1: Purell? Anyone?
Girl #2: There’s a bathroom right there!
Girl #1: I want to clean my hands. –Hunter College Overheard by: Adina C