Archive for 2006

Food Was Scarce in Indiana

Girl #1: Okay, what should I get? The Gombee burger sounds good. Hey, that kinda sounds like Gandhi…except he probably wouldn’t want to eat the burger. Remember that time he was on that hunger strike?
Girl #2: Aren’t cows like, sacred to Hindus or something?
Girl #1: Oh! That’s probably why he wouldn’t have wanted to eat it. –Columbia University

Blame the Dawson’s Creek Song

Suit: My friends told me that you told them that I’d hijacked you. We’ve only dated for a week. For so many reasons it’s not going to work out.
Girl: I don’t understand how someone can just say it’s not going to work out. You know everything about me: my family, my life, all about me. I shared everything this week. I would have held back if I’d known.
Suit: …It’s like I have sticker shock…You are just a much more fun, engaged person than me.
Girl: I don’t understand someone who can just say it’s not going to work out. How can you just say it’s not going to work out?
Suit: Can’t we be friends? That’s why I asked you to meet me here.
Girl: Well, at least we slept together this week. I never wait. I’m so glad we didn’t wait. –Esashi, Avenue A

It’s Also Where They Treat Albert’s Diabetes

Guy #1: Yo, where you live, son?
Guy #2: Up by the Fat Albert store, man.
Guy #1: Oh yeah? Son, I used to live right near there.
Guy #2: By the hospital?
Guy #1: Yeah, man! Ha, ha, that’s the hospital that I went to when I had the hepatitis, son! Yo for real though, that shit hurts. –Chipotle, 44th & 9th Overheard by: Chad F.

Here Comes the Rain Again

Girl #1: Oh my god! I was peeing so much! It just kept coming! So like I was like sitting there all last period peeing!
Girl #2: Oh my god! You should go to a doctor.
Girl #1: Like, yeah…It was crazy. I just kept peeing…
Girl #2: The kid next to you is recording this on his cell phone.
Girl #1: Oh my god, stop! –Goldstein High School, Manhattan Beach Overheard by: Justin Fores

Clean Yet Dirty (NYC Short Stories)

Teen girl #1: She once said to me, “I was thinking about us kissing in the shower.”
Teen girl #2: I hope you were wearing clothes. –Canal & Broadway Guy #1: Does she even shower?
Guy #2: That’s what I asked him. But then he said, “Not only does she shower, but then she licks my ass and jacks me off. It’s fucking great!” –22nd & 3rd Overheard by: Erin B Man #1: You smell great!
Man #2: Thanks. I haven’t bathed since eleven. –70th & Amsterdam