Archive for 2006

Good Thing His Friends Had His Back

Guy #1: Dude, he was so drunk, he was twisted. He’d had like, I don’t know, 25 shots.
Guy #2: 25 shots? Of what??
Guy #1: Of vodka I guess. He was sitting in his BMW holding the wheel and falling asleep.
Guy #2: He was driving??
Guy #1: Naw… Fucker was too drunk to realize he forgot to turn the car on. –Moeshe’s Falafal, 46th & 6th Overheard by: Waiting for Falafal

She Can’t See Because of Her Hood

Girl on cell: I’m on 42nd, where are you? Yeah, the place is on 46th. Where are you again? No, I will not walk down to 33rd just to meet your cunty face and walk with you to 46th…meet me here. Just go straight! You’re not blind, you fucking liar…oh, Christ, there is no such thing as stress blindness…I hope you get hit by a car. –42nd & 7th Overheard by: Ria Vergara

New Ways to Get Out of Sex

Girl #1: But I wasn’t laughing at him, I was laughing at his little white penis in a black condom.
Girl #2: Yeah. Chris’s penis is crooked, and I told him he could never wear one of those yellow banana-flavored condoms, because I might forget I was blowing him and think I was eating a banana.
Girl #1: You’re an idiot. –2nd Ave & 10th Street Overheard by: Alia Lesoix