Archive for 2006

Marcia Cross: The E! True Hollywood Story

Drunk chick #1: I have the best blind date story ever.
Drunk chick #2: Oh yeah?
Drunk chick #1: My sister’s friend flew from Australia to LA for a blind date, and she ended up flying to Aruba with the guy and marrying him like a week later.
Drunk chick #2: Wow. That’s awesome!
Drunk chick #1: But I think she was just, like, 35 and desperate to get married. –Bleecker & Sullivan Overheard by: djlindee

If Anyone Has Insight, Let Him Calculate the Number

Two hobos are passing a bottle. Woman: You can’t do that! This is a passenger train…The blood of Jesus Christ! You can’t do that; this is a passenger train! You need to find Jesus!…That is the devil’s drink. By the blood of Jesus you need to repent!
Hobo #1: Lady, I am the devil.
Woman: You can’t do that on a passenger train! If I see a police I will have you arrested!
Hobo #2: You wanna borrow my cell phone? –F train

If You Have to Ask…

Guy: I just geeked out my profile by a million percent. What do you think?
Girl: Hold up, let me check…
Guy: So what do you think?
Girl: Yeah, that Evangelion child shit is weird.
Guy: Like how weird? –Starbucks, Astor Place Overheard by: Zah

We Have Ourselves a Match

Teen boy: Do you have any matches?
Counter lady: Can I see ID?
Teen boy: You need ID for matches? For just matches?
Counter lady: I can’t give you matches without ID.
Teen boy: ID for matches…what the fuck is this world coming to? –Bodega, Bay Ridge Overheard by: Tim Noonan Cashier chick: “You’ve got cigarettes, but you don’t have matches? That don’t make sense!” We sell lighters, stupidass. Buy one. –Walgreens, 4th Avenue

With What?

Mom: Shit, I ain’t paying for peak hours.
Tween girl: I can hide in the bathroom.
Mom: Or you can flash him. –LIRR Overheard by: bekarloohoo

They Found the Stylist with an Aqua Net

Woman #1: So my mom is all depressed because of the Hurricane Katrina stuff, and she says she has no time to take care of herself. And I say, “It’s just a call to duty, Mom.” I mean, if she’d go to the beauty parlor…
Woman #2: The beauty parlor probably got destroyed.
Woman #1: Yes, and they had to build a new one. And I say, if she just goes in there and has them…fix her hair, or something…she’ll feel so much better! –H&M, Broadway & Prince