Archive for 2006

That Reminds Me; I Need to Get a Gun

Store girl: Here’s your receipt and have a happy holiday!
Store guy: The holidays are over.
Store girl: Valentine’s Day is coming up. –Mazzone True Value Hardware, Carroll Gardens Overheard by: Rob Thug guy: Yo, happy New Year’s, man.
Janitor guy: New Year’s is over, yo.
Thug guy: Happy Mother’s Day! –Port Authority

You’re a Real New Yorker When You Don’t

Girl #1: I haven’t seen our homeless guy lately.
Girl #2: We have a homeless guy?
Girl #1: Yeah, the guy who lives on that mattress under our building.
Girl #2: Oh yeah…I hope he’s okay, I haven’t seen him all week.
Girl #1: You know you’re a New Yorker when you worry about where your homeless guy is. –27th between 5th & Madison Overheard by: Lauren Lerner

To the Water Tower!

Drunk guy: If you come in and dance with me, I’ll buy you a drink.
Sober girl: No, thanks. There’s a five dollar cover.
Drunk guy: If you come in and dance with me, I’ll give you five dollars.
Sober girl: I don’t dance.
Drunk guy: I think you’re hot.
Sober girl: I’m sorry…Watch out. You’re setting yourself on fire.
Drunk guy: I’m on fire for you, baby! –Park Slope Overheard by: djlindee

“Well, I’m 8, baby.”

HS girl: I didn’t want to listen to my dad explain sex to my mom.
HS boy: Why would your dad explain sex to your mom?
HS girl: Because my brother asked what the song, “Come my lady, come, come my lady” meant. And mom didn’t know.
HS boy: What does that song have to do with sex?
HS girl: You don’t know? You’re the only person in the world who doesn’t know.
HS boy: Your brother didn’t know.
HS girl: My brother is 7. –M104 bus Overheard by: Susan Elliott