Archive for 2006

The Terms of His Parole Require All the Residents of Manhattan to Hit Him

Hispanic thug #1: You have to hit a kid to teach him respect.
Hispanic thug #2: That doesn’t work
Hispanic thug #1: Sure it does, remember when I stole that stuff when I was younger and dad hit me? That taught me the respect that I needed not to steal
Hispanic thug #2: You still steal.
Hispanic thug #1: Yeah, but not from my family.

–Downtown 4

…But Not Really

Girl: When I look back on my life, I’m not going to think about trips I went on or relationships I had, I’ll be thinking about television programs I watched.
Guy: That’s horrible!
Girl: Well I was only kidding!

–86th and Lex