Archive for 2006

There’s an SAT Question Here Somewhere

Dude: Wait, who’s Pete?
Chick: Pete’s the guy who’s sleeping with John’s girlfriend.
Dude: Oh, right. –Office, 48th & 6th Overheard by: this guy Guy #1: You mean the roommate who sleeps naked on the top bunk?
Guy #2: No, that’s Bobby. I’m talking about Steve. He’s the one who farts all the time.
Guy #1: My bad. –81st & Broadway Overheard by: Dr. X

Nice is for France

Tourist lady: Um, I have a non-train related question.
MTA guy: What?
Tourist lady: Is there a nice place to get some coffee or tea around here?
MTA guy: Yeah, outside. –Grand Central Overheard by: rod vanderlaan Announcement: Please be nice going on and off the escalators. –Smith-9th Streets station Overheard by: Fulcanelli Girl #1: I don’t understand why they gotta say “How you doin'” and “Have a nice day.”
Girl #2: They’re trying to be nice, stupid. –KFC, 125th & 7th Overheard by: Edwina P. Garza

The Brownshirts Bug Everyone

Guy #1: …he always wears the cheapest clothes but always has the most expensive sneakers!
Guy #2: Yo, white people bug me. They always wear crappy clothes, they be wearing green shirts, brown shirts…
Girl: But they always have nice cars, houses, they go on nice vacations. I’d rather wear cheap clothes and have a nice house and go on nice vacations.
Guy #1: You’re missing the point! –N train Overheard by: tanechka

Because They Chose to Go to Boston

Tourist girl #1: Stop acting like a tourist!
Tourist girl #2: But I am a tourist!
Tourist girl #1: But it’s embarrassing.
Tourist girl #2: If you’re embarrassed over what a ton of people you’ve never seen before and never will see again think, you’re never going to have any fun. Tourists are allowed to act like dorks.
Tourist girl #1: Then why do you make fun of tourists in Boston? –Doubletree Metropolitan Hotel, Lexington Avenue