Archive for 2006

That’s Not Even Poison to Malaria, Silly!

Waitress: Would you care for anything to drink?
British woman: What would you like to drink?
Latina mother-in-law: Whatever you’re having.
British woman: I’m having a glass of poison, would you like a glass of poison?
Latina mother-in-law: Mm-hmm.
British woman: Are you sure you want a glass of poison? She nods. British woman: We’ll have two gin and tonics. –Hanratty’s Restaurant, Madison Avenue

An Apple in the Mouth is More Traditional

Man #1: Yo, your girl is huge.
Man #2: I like big ladies; more to love.
Man #1: But damn, she’s all, “Baby, give me more macaroni and cheese. Ooh yeah baby, put more cheese on top.” That’s sick, man.
Man #2: Yeah, but she knows how do to her thing, you know?
Man #1: Fuck that. She can’t even get through a sentence without running out of breath. Coughing and wheezing, sweat running down her face.
Man #2: What do you want me to do?
Man #1: Give her a fucking carrot or something! Shit. –C train Overheard by: Melissa Fahlstrom