Archive for 2006

That’s Not Even Poison to Malaria, Silly!

Waitress: Would you care for anything to drink?
British woman: What would you like to drink?
Latina mother-in-law: Whatever you’re having.
British woman: I’m having a glass of poison, would you like a glass of poison?
Latina mother-in-law: Mm-hmm.
British woman: Are you sure you want a glass of poison? She nods. British woman: We’ll have two gin and tonics. –Hanratty’s Restaurant, Madison Avenue

An Apple in the Mouth is More Traditional

Man #1: Yo, your girl is huge.
Man #2: I like big ladies; more to love.
Man #1: But damn, she’s all, “Baby, give me more macaroni and cheese. Ooh yeah baby, put more cheese on top.” That’s sick, man.
Man #2: Yeah, but she knows how do to her thing, you know?
Man #1: Fuck that. She can’t even get through a sentence without running out of breath. Coughing and wheezing, sweat running down her face.
Man #2: What do you want me to do?
Man #1: Give her a fucking carrot or something! Shit. –C train Overheard by: Melissa Fahlstrom

The PATH Train at 33rd (A NYC Short Story)

Hobo: Where are you going?
Drunk guy: Bermuda. I’m connecting to the plane. Drunk guy: Is that your cousin?
Hobo: Yeah!
Drunk guy: He didn’t even say nothing to you. That’s fucked up! Hobo: My name is Peter. Peter Parker. I’m Spider-Man’s father. The hobo shows the drunk guy his bottle. The drunk guy takes out a can of beer and a bottle of whiskey Drunk guy: So what? You trying to beat me? You started a competition and I beat you. I came prepared. –PATH train Overheard by: Tony Gabriel