Archive for 2006

Can Someone Translate Into Brooklyn?

Teen girl: I would like to. Notwithstanding, I–
Old lady: Never say “notwithstanding” in New York. Too long a word for here.
Teen girl: Why the heck…?
Old lady: Notwithstanding and two financial empires have already
collapsed! Where are you from, by the way?
Teen girl: Missoula, Montana.
Old lady: You’re making my point, darling!…So, Redford says “notwithstanding”? No kidding?
Teen girl: Robert lives in Utah. –Trump Tower elevator, 56th & 5th Overheard by: Bertrand Latour

He Thinks Those Doggs All Look Alike

White man: Excuse me, has anyone ever told you you look just like that rap guy?
Black guy: You mean Snoop Dogg?
White man: Yeah, him.
Black guy: Yeah, all the time.
White man: Are you related to him?
Black guy: Yeah, he’s a distant cousin.
White man: Really? Wow! You must get this all the time.
Black guy: Yeah, even my girlfriend says it.
White man: Well, that must be the reason she dates you. She probably wouldn’t date you if you weren’t related to him. –1 train

Where Are They Now?: Susanna Hoffs

Chick: Do you know why I can’t walk on this side of you on the sidewalk?
Guy: Why?
Chick: You’re gonna laugh…
Guy: I’ll laugh no matter what.
Chick: ‘Cause this is not my side of the bed.
Guy: What?
Chick: If we were laying on my bed I wouldn’t be on my side.
Guy: What? Yes you would. If we’re laying on our backs this would be your side of the bed.
Chick: But I sleep on my stomach…
Guy: We’re walking in the street, there is no bed! –42nd & 5th Overheard by: King Porky21