Archive for 2006

Bright Lights, Big Sprinkles

Businessman lady: I’ll have a light latte please, with brown sugar. You do have brown sugar, don’t you?
Countergirl: Um, no.
Businessman lady: Well, then give me your finest, finest grade sugar, all right?
Countergirl: Oh. Sure. –Dunkin’ Donuts, 93rd & 1st Overheard by: Gina Loiacono

Philosophy ‘n Shit (A NYC Short Story)

Spanish guy: Life is shit. You never know. Shit is shit. If you’re already smart and you make a computer, it’ll be fucking smart like in the movie AI. The devil at work like in Six Days with Schwarzenegger. Movies are like real ‘n shit. It’s bin Laden and that fucking Hussein, they’re in cohoots ‘n shit. They want to make us like them…a third world country ‘n shit. Spanish guy: College don’t mean nothin’ ’cause you could fucking graduate with papers and shit, then someone’s friend gets the goddam job ‘n shit. It don’t matter ’bout college ’cause that fuckin’ asshole makes $70,000 so you got the college paper and that don’t mean shit. Spanish guy: Best burgers is Burger King, but White Castle is the jam.
Spanish girl: Ew, no!
Spanish guy: No man, that shit is good, but only when the meat is fresh ‘n shit. Like they just cook it now ‘n shit. The only thing is if the bread is old ‘n shit or if too many onions ‘n shit. Yo, I made 50 bucks from my brother-in-law when I ate 53 ‘n shit. He ate 50. That was when I was husky ’cause I played football ‘n shit. –D train Overheard by: Valerie Velazquez