Archive for 2006

PS I threw up on the note, too.

Guy: I could become a sheriff. Don’t you have to take a test to become a sheriff? What if you have one of those disorders that you throw up whenever you take a test?
Girl: Well I guess you could get a note or something.
Guy: Oh yeah, you could be like, “I threw up on my test, that’s why it smells funny. Here’s a note.” –F train Overheard by: Graham Davis

He’s Begging for Spontaneous Combustion

Guy #1: Yo, she want me to give her a kid, son. She only 28. I’m like, you don’t need no kid when you 28. Just start in your thirties and have ‘em back to back to back.
Girl: You make it sound pretty easy to have kids back to back. That’s hard on a woman.
Guy #1: And she ain’t the only one. Lots of girls want me to give them kids.
Girl: Your sperm is in high demand.
Guy #2: What do you want, man? You’re a good-looking guy.
Guy #1: I know. I’m hot. But sometimes it feels like a curse to be this hot. –4 train

Is There a Choice?

Teen girl #1: Yo, it smells like sex in this train!
Teen girl #2: What the hell does sex smell like?
Teen girl #1: Oops, that’s right! You’re a virgin. Well, it smells, well, uh,it smells like sex! Okay, who in this train just got some booty? Was it you? You? Oh hell naw, you’re too ugly.
Teen girl #2: You really think someone would have sex on a crowded train? –F train

None of That Drag Queen Lassie Crap

Man: Those are some fine-lookin’ sweaters!
Old lady: Do you like them? I made them, you know.
Man: You made those?
Old lady: I did.
Man: Do you think you could make one for him?
Old lady: I would be delighted!
Man: But, you know…I mean…like, for a boy chihuahua. –11th & B Overheard by: Stephanie Matthew-Diaz Girl #1: What? What are you talking about? I’m talking about the Johnny Cash song, A Boy Named Sue!
Girl #2: And I’m talking about my dog being a cross-dresser. –27th & 7th