Archive for 2006

People From Upstate Love This

Cali girl #1: Where do you go again?
Cornell girl: Cornell.
Cali girl #2: Oh. Where is that?
Cali girl #1: Oh my god, don’t you know it’s in New York?
Cali girl #2: Umm no, you idiot, we’re in New York and she said she just drove hours to get here.
Cali girl #1: Oh right..I think it’s in like.. the state that New York is in? New York state?
Cornell girl: Yeah. Ithaca.
Cali girl #1: Right right! Middle of nowhere, right? Shithaca!
Cornell girl: Umm. –59th & 5th Overheard by: love cali girls

Say Cheese, Chucky

Mom taking photos of son: Smile, sweetie.
[click click]
Mom: Smile from within, honey.
[click click]
Mom: Smiling from within means smile like you’re happy on the inside.
[click click]
Mom: Okay, not that much. –Prospect Park

That Was Actually His Campaign Slogan

Anthony Weiner and what appears to be 3 of his staff get out of a black Chevy Impala with tints and a spoiler. Stoned kid #1: Dude it’s Anthony Weiner.
Stoned kid #2: Who?
Stoned kid #1: Anthony Weiner…the Congressman. He lives right there. Stoned kid #2 looks back Stoned kid #2: Hey Weiner! You’re a Weiner! –Ascan Ave & Burns St, Forest Hills Overheard by: Peter Sipsas

Teenage Lobotomy, the Aftermath

Queer: Who’s Joey Ramone?
Hipster girl: Oh my God, are you kidding me?
Queer: Uh, no. Who is he?
Hipster girl: He’s a singer! He was like, in some huge band in the ’80s!
Queer: What band?
Hipster girl: Um…
Queer: See? You don’t know who the hell he is either. You don’t even know what band he was in.
Hipster girl: It’s on the tip of my tongue…
Queer: Sure.
Hipster girl: Oh well, I can’t think of it. I think he’s dead now anyway. Who cares. –Irving Plaza Overheard by: i hope they were joking

Broken Spanish Is the New Esperanto

A flight attendant on an Atlanta to NYC plane is attempting to communicate with two Israeli twentysomethings in broken Spanish. Flight attendant to Israeli guy: Sir, por favor, sit down. If no sit, I will telephonar el capitan and he will have to turn off el engine. It will take una hora to get to the gate if that happens.
Guy: I don’t speak Spanish.
Flight attendant: What?
Guy: I don’t speak Spanish. Speak English!
Flight attendant: Fine. Sir, please take a seat. The fasten seatbelt sign is still lit. If you do not sit down, I will have to call el capitan. –Landing strip

Anna Wintour’s Second Job

Hobo lady with piercing tone walking the length of the subway car: I’m so hungry. I’m so hungry, can somebody give me some food? I’m so hungry. [pause] Nobody cares. Nobody cares, you all don’t care. You are all selfish. Nobody cares. She has reached the end of the subway car as it approaches City Hall. Hobo lady to quiet plump lady: Honey, you need to get your roots done. Your hair is ugly. Hobo lady leaves the car. –R train between Rector & City Hall Overheard by: Kathryn