Archive for 2006

People From Upstate Love This

Cali girl #1: Where do you go again?
Cornell girl: Cornell.
Cali girl #2: Oh. Where is that?
Cali girl #1: Oh my god, don’t you know it’s in New York?
Cali girl #2: Umm no, you idiot, we’re in New York and she said she just drove hours to get here.
Cali girl #1: Oh right..I think it’s in like.. the state that New York is in? New York state?
Cornell girl: Yeah. Ithaca.
Cali girl #1: Right right! Middle of nowhere, right? Shithaca!
Cornell girl: Umm. –59th & 5th Overheard by: love cali girls

Say Cheese, Chucky

Mom taking photos of son: Smile, sweetie.
[click click]
Mom: Smile from within, honey.
[click click]
Mom: Smiling from within means smile like you’re happy on the inside.
[click click]
Mom: Okay, not that much. –Prospect Park

That Was Actually His Campaign Slogan

Anthony Weiner and what appears to be 3 of his staff get out of a black Chevy Impala with tints and a spoiler. Stoned kid #1: Dude it’s Anthony Weiner.
Stoned kid #2: Who?
Stoned kid #1: Anthony Weiner…the Congressman. He lives right there. Stoned kid #2 looks back Stoned kid #2: Hey Weiner! You’re a Weiner! –Ascan Ave & Burns St, Forest Hills Overheard by: Peter Sipsas

Teenage Lobotomy, the Aftermath

Queer: Who’s Joey Ramone?
Hipster girl: Oh my God, are you kidding me?
Queer: Uh, no. Who is he?
Hipster girl: He’s a singer! He was like, in some huge band in the ’80s!
Queer: What band?
Hipster girl: Um…
Queer: See? You don’t know who the hell he is either. You don’t even know what band he was in.
Hipster girl: It’s on the tip of my tongue…
Queer: Sure.
Hipster girl: Oh well, I can’t think of it. I think he’s dead now anyway. Who cares. –Irving Plaza Overheard by: i hope they were joking

Broken Spanish Is the New Esperanto

A flight attendant on an Atlanta to NYC plane is attempting to communicate with two Israeli twentysomethings in broken Spanish. Flight attendant to Israeli guy: Sir, por favor, sit down. If no sit, I will telephonar el capitan and he will have to turn off el engine. It will take una hora to get to the gate if that happens.
Guy: I don’t speak Spanish.
Flight attendant: What?
Guy: I don’t speak Spanish. Speak English!
Flight attendant: Fine. Sir, please take a seat. The fasten seatbelt sign is still lit. If you do not sit down, I will have to call el capitan. –Landing strip