Girl in bathroom: Well, my friends live out here, but I’m from Manhattan, so I asked them what I should wear and they said this place was really casual. So I asked if I could at least wear heels..and they said no…but I can’t drink in sneakers! –Astoria Beer Garden Overheard by: melissa
Scrabble girl: “Gooeesay” is so not a word.
Scrabble guy: That’s “guise.”
Scrabble girl: Ha! Well, smart guy, you spelled it wrong. “Guys” is spelled G-U-Y-S.
Scrabble guy: Are you serious?
Scrabble girl: Sorry, there’s no way I’m letting you get away with that after you wouldn’t give me any points for “Steve.”
Scrabble guy: How long have we been dating? –Central Park Overheard by: Uncle Joe
Woman #1: Want to come out with me and Brian tomorrow night?
Woman #2: No thanks. I have plans.
Woman #1: Well ok. I’ll see you. Have fun with those warm bananas. –F train
Man: Hey! I didn’t expect to see you here.
Woman: Just gotta find a quick read.
Man: Wow. I didn’t know hookers could read.
Woman: Yeah… I gotta do something while you fuck me. –Barnes & Noble, 86th & Lex
Guy, about to hit on girl: Hey. [looks down at his sleeve as it slides into some bar toe-jam]
Girl: What’s wrong?
Guy: I just got something on my favorite sweatshirt. [starting to get really stressed]
Girl: I don’t know if you know about this, but there’s these metal boxes you put you clothes in and it will clean them.
Guy stares blankly at her.
Girl: Or, if you’re really lazy like me, you can just take it someplace and have a short Asian woman use the box for you.
Guy still looks at her, confused.
Girl leaves bar. –Automatic Slims, Washington & Bethune
Drunk guy: Why should I invite you up to my apartment?
Drunk girl: Because I’m beautiful ASSHOLE! –80th & 2nd
Guy #1: Yeah, he’s a pretty good director… what’s his name again? The hobbit guy?
Guy #2: Uhhh…Peter something…
Guy #1: Yeah, Peter North! I love that guy’s movies. –AMC Empire 25, Times Square
Hipster with small dog: I used to be in the Navy. What is your training?
Sailor: I’ll be on a sub, learning to shoot nuclear warheads.
Hipster: Shit man, that’s intense.
Sailor: I know, I’m not really into violence. –Stanton & Ludlow Overheard by: Dan Levin
Voice over PA, as train is pulling out of the station: How you gonna let your child run around like that? You call yourself a mother? I could’ve closed the doors on your child and then what? You would’ve been all sad and shit but I was nice, I chose to keep the doors open. You call yourself a mother… lettin’ your child run around on the subway… –1 train Overheard by: LSB
Man: What’s that you’re putting on your cheesecake?
Woman: My cholesterol medication.
Man: Um… I don’t think that’s how it works. –Carnegie Deli Overheard by: Julie