Archive for 2006

Weigh Two Long

Scrabble girl: “Gooeesay” is so not a word.
Scrabble guy: That’s “guise.”
Scrabble girl: Ha! Well, smart guy, you spelled it wrong. “Guys” is spelled G-U-Y-S.
Scrabble guy: Are you serious?
Scrabble girl: Sorry, there’s no way I’m letting you get away with that after you wouldn’t give me any points for “Steve.”
Scrabble guy: How long have we been dating? –Central Park Overheard by: Uncle Joe

Don’t Get Me Started on Asian Women and Their Boxes

Guy, about to hit on girl: Hey. [looks down at his sleeve as it slides into some bar toe-jam]
Girl: What’s wrong?
Guy: I just got something on my favorite sweatshirt. [starting to get really stressed]
Girl: I don’t know if you know about this, but there’s these metal boxes you put you clothes in and it will clean them.
Guy stares blankly at her.
Girl: Or, if you’re really lazy like me, you can just take it someplace and have a short Asian woman use the box for you.
Guy still looks at her, confused.
Girl leaves bar. –Automatic Slims, Washington & Bethune

NY1 Top Story: Child Protection Services Taken Over by MTA

Voice over PA, as train is pulling out of the station: How you gonna let your child run around like that? You call yourself a mother? I could’ve closed the doors on your child and then what? You would’ve been all sad and shit but I was nice, I chose to keep the doors open. You call yourself a mother… lettin’ your child run around on the subway… –1 train Overheard by: LSB