Teenage gang chick with comb in hair: So, my momma sez, so, show me yo’ socks, yo’ shoes…no, the inside of yo’ shoes…and she’s like, take out this blade and this blade and this blade, and I’m like Yo, I need protection! And she’s like Yo, you gots your comb and shit…How does she know this shit? –A train downtown, 145th st
Crazy old lady to young clerk: Whatsa matter, you don’t like old ladies? If I was forty years younger, I would eat you up like an, like an apple. [to older clerk] C’mere gimme a kiss. C’mon gimme a kiss. What are you, scared? I’d have you laying out in my funeral parlour in a pine box. What do you think if we skinned the knish? They’ll wrap you in sheet and ship you back to Yemen. You want to ride the bull with me? You’ll decide you love America. –Grand & Bushwick, Williamsburg
Guy: Did you hear back from the modeling agency?
Girl: Yeah, it was Foot Fetish Palace. I have to call them back.
Guy: Oh my god you’re in porn?! This is why we’re friends. –20th between 8th & 9th Overheard by: I’m just trying to get to the theatre
Girl #1: So my co-worker is kinda cute, kinda not. Like Jersey-cute. No offense.
Girl #2: Jersey cute?
Girl #1: Yeah, fake tan, big muscles, clearly injects.
Girl #2: Oh, you mean Guido cute!
Girl #1: Guido, yeah, that’s the word I was looking for. –52nd & 3rd Overheard by: Just Walking
Thirtysomething mom on cell: That boy of your is too fat. [Pause] Well, you keep feeding him hamburgers. That’s why he has titties. He’s an A-cup. –M15 bus
Suit: Do you see that guy? He’s wearing a suit and sneakers!
Coffee vendor: Um…
Suit: I can’t believe that! I really think guys like that should be lined up and shot on Broadway. –Broad & Wall St Overheard by: alxie
Teen girl #1: I am so in the mood to get drunk tonight…
Teen girl #2: Yea! Tonight is such a good drunk night.
Teen girl #1: I can’t wait to be drunk!
Teen girl #2: I can’t wait to be stupid!
Teen boy: You guys say that every night. And have I gotten into either of your pants? No. –Penn Station
Preteen girl #1: Hey, so they finally showed us how to draw different shapes. I can finally do clovers.
Preteen girl #2: You fucking bitch, you never showed me how to draw hearts. –UA Sheepshead Bay
Woman #1: … So his mom taught him.
Woman #2: His mother taught him.
Woman #1: Yeah.
Woman #2: To eat pussy?
Woman #1: Yeah.
Woman #2: That’s disgusting!
Woman #1: He’s really good at it, though. –D train
Older woman: Excuse me, miss?
Younger woman: Yeah?
Older woman: Your veil, your burqa is very beautiful. I didn’t know your people were allowed to wear it in bright colors.
Younger woman: It’s not a burqa, it’s a poncho. I’m Jewish. It’s for the rain. I got it at TJ Maxx.
–53rd & 7th
Overheard by: Pam