Girl on cell: You have to just ask him. But you have to ask him to his face so you can see his reaction. Just look him in the eye and say, “Dad, are you on Match.com?” and see if he looks surprised. You just have to confront stuff like that. –4th & Broadway Overheard by: uncle frank
Drunk guy: It doesn’t mean anything! It’s just green paper! It doesn’t mean anything!
Woman #1: Then why don’t you throw it out?
Drunk guy: Fine! [Throws bill onto subway tracks] If it means so much to you, why don’t you go get it?
Woman #1: Yo, that was five-dollar bill!
Woman #2: For reals? Train comes and passes. Drunk guy: Hey, it’s gone. ..Where’s my money? –Franklin St station Overheard by: Melissa Coppola
Man: Hey! It’s so great to run into you! I haven’t heard from you in so long!
Woman: Yeah, that’s because you didn’t call me after we slept together. –50th between 5th & 6th
Girl #1: …maybe a tattoo. We should get tattoos.
Girl #2: I find those people, them, to be low class.
Girl #1: But we are low class.
Girl #2: Touche. –6 train, Union Square Overheard by: somethingnew
Black woman: You look like Vanna White.
White girl: Really?
Black woman: Don’t she look like Vanna White?
Queer: Yes, but better.
Black woman: What do you mean better! Vanna is rich and shit. And on TV. And this bitch over here has nothing. She’s on the subway, for Christ’s sake! –Downtown 6 train Overheard by: JR
Woman #1: What’s he wear now?
Woman #2: He’s completely switched. Now he likes to wear button-down shirts with cufflinks.
Woman #1: That probably looks much better. His face is way too brown to be goth. –44th & 8th Overheard by: Pete
Tourist: Is this the way to the subway?
Guard: No. You need to go west of 49th.
Tourist: Can I go down there anyway?
Guard: No. There’s a special event.
Tourist: Please? We’re from California.
Guard: No. Welcome to New York. –Rockefeller Center
Girl #1: So it’s my beer pong table, right? If we ever break up, I get the table?
Guy: Well, half of it.
Girl #1: Noo! If you’re going to cut it in half, you can have it. I don’t want to see the table ruined. I care about beer pong that much.
Girl #2: Wow, it’s like the Judgment of Solomon. –1 train Overheard by: djlindee
Guy: You guys know what herpes are?
Teen boys: Uh…
Guy: Herpes are what you get from whorehouses. They look like…you know pretzel sticks with salt? –Brooklyn-bound D train
Wall Street guy #1: I haven’t seen that guy with the toupee on the train since I said something.
Wall Street guy #2: Do you think he heard you?
Wall Street guy #1: Maybe. Maybe he committed suicide. –Uptown 4 train