Archive for 2006

Lemming’s Night Out

Girl: Oh, I’m sorry, are you the bouncer?
Large man: No, I just came out to make a phone call.
Girl: Well, you look like you might have some authority. Are you sure you don’t want to see my ID?
Large man: Girl, you can get a drink wherever you want. I don’t give a shit.

–West Village

Overheard by: Gloria

…And Added Some Strychnine To Her Birth Control Pills

Pharmacist: You should probably re-sign your card.
Woman: Why?
Pharmacist: Well, you signed over the magnetic strip. You’re supposed to sign over the white part down here.
Woman: Then how would the machine read my signature? That doesn’t make any sense.
Pharmacist: No, it’s a magnetic strip. It reads the information, not the signature.
Woman: I don’t think you know what you’re talking about. That’s not how the machines work. You’re a pharmacist, not an electrician.

Then the pharmacist gave up.

–Zitomer, 76th & Madison

Overheard by: Helena