Archive for 2006

“Well, I’m 8, baby.”

HS girl: I didn’t want to listen to my dad explain sex to my mom.
HS boy: Why would your dad explain sex to your mom?
HS girl: Because my brother asked what the song, “Come my lady, come, come my lady” meant. And mom didn’t know.
HS boy: What does that song have to do with sex?
HS girl: You don’t know? You’re the only person in the world who doesn’t know.
HS boy: Your brother didn’t know.
HS girl: My brother is 7. –M104 bus Overheard by: Susan Elliott

He’s Hung Like a Pigeon

Guy: Yeah, that’s the first thing I learned when I moved here: don’t eat street meat, it’s probably pigeon or something.
Girl #1: Yeah, I wish I could get my husband to stop eating it.
Girl #2: I don’t care what kind of meat it is as long as it’s in my mouth.
Girl #1: That’s my sister; she’s looking for a hook-up.
Girl #2: No, I’m not!
Guy: I’m married. –Irving Plaza, Irving Place Overheard by: Johnny Tremain

2 Proposals, 3 Women, 5 Minutes

Drunk guy: Don’t you fuck with me!
Sober woman: What?
Drunk guy: You sleep with a different guy every night!
Sober woman: I do not. What are you talking about?
Drunk guy: You loveme. You want to marryme.
Sober woman: This is ridiculous. I’ve had enough. I don’t have to take this anymore. Goodbye! She leaves. He turns to the next table. Drunk guy: Yeah, did you see that girl who just left? I just dumped her. Can I buy you two a drink? –Rosie O’Grady’s, 7th Avenue

I Vote for the No Kids

Guy: I’m like your gay boyfriend.
Girl: Kind of.
Guy: …only without the gay sex part, of course.
Girl: Yes, and without the sense of style.
Guy: I don’t know if I’d say that…
Girl: See, you’re just very emotional. But you should really work on the style, ’cause it’s the best thing about the gay. –Virgin, Union Square