Archive for 2006

France Just Seems Small, Because It’s So Easy to Conquer

Customer You Greek?
Waitress
: Greek Orthodox.

Customer: So you’re Greek.
Waitress: No, that’s my religion, they call it Greek Orthodox.
Customer: But you’re from Greece, right?
Waitress: No, Belarus.
Customer: Russia?
Waitress: Belarus. It’s the former USSR. It’s between Russia and Poland.
Customer: I never heard of it. It must be very small.
Waitress: It’s not small.
Customer: It must be very small.
Waitress: It’s the size of France. France is quite big, actually.
Customer: I better look at a map.
Waitress: Yeah, you’d better.

–Diner, Park Slope

It Couldn’t Hurt Worse than Hearing you use the Phrase ‘Treasure Trail’

Blonde: You know what I did this morning?
Brunette: What?
Blonde: I plucked out my treasure trail with tweezers. Pain isn’t even the word.
Brunette: What the fuck? Why?
Blonde: It was too short to wax and I was impatient…
Brunette: Ummm…why didn’t you just shave it then?
Blonde: Oh hell no! It’d grow back like the next day! Shit, I’d pluck out my whole crotch if I knew I wouldn’t pass out from the pain!

–St. Mark’s Place

Overheard by: Mistress Silver

Touché, Ann Coulter, Touché

Tourist guy #1: New York is cool man, a lot of places to visit and shit.
Tourist guy #2: Yeah, I know… I can’t wait to find me one of them horny-ass "Sex in the City" whores to suck me up while I’m here.
Tourist guy #1: That’s a myth, you fag. It ain’t real.
Tourist guy #2: Look at those moms over there. I bet they’re craving some young cock.

–Outside Radio City Music Hall

Overheard by: FatCop

Or More Accurately, Wanted You to Fit in Me

Teen girl: Hi. Yes, hi. Excuse me. I know you don’t know me but, what background are you from?
Teen boy: Ummm, why do you ask?
Teen girl: You look like an interesting mix and I really really want to know.
Teen boy: Ummm. Actually, I don’t know.
Teen girl: You don’t know? How come?
Teen boy: I was adopted.
Teen girl: Really? Wow! I don’t know my real parents either! Ok, ok. That’s not true. I just wanted to fit in.

–F train