Archive for 2006

How He Convinced Her that Semen Is Brain Food

Man: I’ll give you 10 bucks if you can tell me what baseball team is popular in Philly.
Woman: Duh, it’s the Red Sox! …What? Boston is in Philly.
Man: Sweetie, Boston isn’t in Philly.
Woman: Don’t lie to me, you know how easy I fall for things!
Man: But Boston is in Massachusetts.
Woman: That’s what I said!

–E 23rd St & Lex

Overheard by: Lisa

What America Thinks New Yorkers Do All Day

Hipster #1: You should spring that question on him one night and see what he says. I bet he’d be like, ‘What the fuck? Are you kidding me?’
Hipster #2: You mean ask him to stick his thing in my butt? Would he be down?
Hipster #1: I don’t think so. One time I was like, ‘Man, I need to fuck some girl in the ass pronto-tonto!’ He was like, ‘Dude, that’s gross!’
Hipster #2: I thought most dudes wanted to do that.
Hipster #1: Well, that was a while ago. He has been living in Thailand and those lady-boys have got to be pretty convincing.
Hipster #2: I’m sure.
Hipster #1: He could be ‘warmed-up’ to the occasion. Just get him shit-faced off his rocker.
Hipster #2: I don’t want to stick anything up my butt unless someone really wants it badly, and I certainly don’t want it to be messy — that shit can hurt if it’s not inserted properly.

–In front of Gagosian Gallery, Chelsea

Overheard by: Chelius