Archive for 2006

In That It Involved Me

Preppy boy #1: You went to her Sweet 16, and you didn’t know how to spell her name?!
Preppy boy #2: So what? What was the name of that bitch you fucked last night?
Preppy boy #1: Um, I don’t know… But it’s completely different! Totally different situation.

–Track 130, Grand Central

Overheard by: TheSlyVegan

Help Me File off This Serial Number

Working girl #1: I love your ring. Where’d you get it?
Working girl #2: It’s my grandma’s. We just found her will.
Working girl #1: Wait, oh my god, when did your grandmother die?
Working girl #2: She hasn’t, yet.

–4/5/6 train, Wall St station

You’re Not Okay with That?

Limo driver: What are you trying to do?!
Cabbie: Did you not see the other guy, what he was doing? I had to move.
Limo driver: So he tries to kill you, and you move over and try to kill me?
Cabbie: What you want me to do?
Limo driver: So, you try to kill me so you don’t die — you try to kill me, then.
Cabbie: Well, then you have to die.

–7th Ave South & Perry St

Nah, I’d Send in a Designated Hitter

Hot chick walks by in Yankees sweatshirt.

Guy to friend: Dude. Dude, that girl is hot as fuck. I would hit that so hard.
Mets fan nearby: Ouch. Sucks she’s a Yankees fan.
Guy: What? Who the hell cares? She could have a fucking penis, and I’d still hit that shit up, down, left, right, and diagonally.
Mets fan: That’s kinda gay.

–Times Square