Woman sitting on bench with small dog on lap: You know that no matter what you do, I will always love you, right? –1st & 87th
A homeless guy is sleeping Other dude: You smell like you want to be alone. –A train
Girl on cell: No, I haven’t had a chance to blow him off yet. –6th & 53rd
Tween to her mom: Oh look, it’s those shoes you can eat! Wait, can you eat them? Oh, no, these aren’t the edible ones. –Payless, Upper West Side Overheard by: embarrassed to have been in payless
Conductor: Ladies and Gentlemen, we will be moving shortly. There is a police investigation taking place on this train. Have a nice day. –F train Overheard by: scittle
Tourist girl, Pointing at a set of glass windows: Hey, isn’t that where Carson Daly lives? –Times Square Overheard by: Max Bivona
Girl: I mean, I never want to get married. Like… never. But I really want babies. So I guess I’m just going to have a bastard. –Marquet Cafe, 15 East 12th St Overheard by: Grace
Little boy: You be the president, and I’ll be the terrorist. –Queens Blvd & 63rd St Overheard by: Nina
10-year-old white boy: He thinks all dark people are Osama Bin Laden.
10-year-old brown boy: That is a disgrace to me. I’m not even Hindu, yo. –24th Ave & 29th St, Astoria Overheard by: kelly
Incoming chirp: Where you at?
Guido #1: I fuckin’ hate this shit, man! In the morning 8 am, while I’m takin’ a shit, all fuckin’ day! “Where you at?” Just leave me the fuck alone!
Guido #2: Hahaha…Why don’t you just turn it off?
Guido #1: Nah, then I wouldn’t get chirped. –College of Staten Island