Jamaican woman: Oh mahn, I used to get so high and den turn on dat Spanish channel so loud and just sit in front of it and listen. –34th & 8th Overheard by: Future NYer
Old lady: No, Henry, trust me. You were never a fuck machine, and I certainly did know how to fake it. –113th & Broadway Overheard by: Marc Mitchell
Hobo: Well, mathematically speaking, I’m fucked. –2nd Avenue station Overheard by: Maddog Hobo: I don’t steal. I don’t snatch purses. I don’t bother women. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not a homosexual. But I do bathe. And I do sleep on the subway ’cause I am a bum. –4 train Overheard by: Jen McC. Hobo: Anybody want to take the day off and cuddle with me? It’s kosher! –52nd & 5th Overheard by: Jess Hobo: I’m just tryin’ to get some pussy here and all y’all gotta come up in here and bother me. Damn. –PATH train Overheard by: Everett Moran Hobo: I’ve been shitting plastic lately. –Q60 bus Overheard by: Ben Hobo: Please help me…Please help me…I need money to buy popcorn…Please help me…I need a hot meal…I need money to buy popcorn. –53rd & Park Hobo: Uh oh, uh oh! You make a big doo-doo! It’s okay. I make big doo-doos too. –Astor Place Overheard by: Melissa Cole Hobo: Spare a little change, girls? That’s all right, God bless you…even the Chinese girl. –Bank & Bleecker Hobo: The tax man has a licence to kill. No questions asked. More people should know that. –5th Avenue-53rd Street station Overheard by: Tzvi Tampa Hobo: If you see a suspicious black package on this train do not pick it up. If you see a large, black package on my seat after I leave, do not worry. It is not a bomb. I’ve been riding this train for fifteen years. Leave it for the Coney island clean-up crew. They’ll take care of it. It is not a weapon, it is not filled with hundred dollar bills, just don’t touch it…Did you know that Union Square is a hundred years older than Times Square? –N train Overheard by: Zelda Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, sorry for the interruption. I am trying to raise one million dollars and 25 cents for wine research. –4 train Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer Hobo: All you people who just got on the train, everybody in this car already gave me $7. Everybody gave me $7 but you. –6 train Girl: So I saw this homeless guy walking down the street with, like, all the bags and stuff, and he had something bewtween his teeth! –6 train Hobo: Hey man, help an ugly dude out, will ya? –33rd & 8th Overheard by: Brian Graham Hobo: What’s the holdup? Let’s get this train moving! There’s people gots to go to work, gots to go to school! There’s pregnant people! Court musicians! –R train Hobo: Yeah, a couple of Jewish lawyers out to fuck the world…Shee-it. –42nd & Lexington Overheard by: Ronald A. Veenker
Man: When I told her I worked for the State of New York she seemed to
lose interest. –F train
Chick: Every time Todd talks to a girl he thinks he’s on a date. –9th Street between 1st & 2nd
Queer: Hey, the red is looking really good on you. That’s gonna be the next color of my living room walls, like God had a nosebleed! –Tekserve, West 23rd Street
Little boy: What’s the “n word,” Dad?
Dad: I’m not gonna tell you.
Little boy: Why?
Mom: It’s worse than all the other words because it makes specific people feel bad.
Dad: You don’t need to know it. It’s one of those things you’ll learn when you get older. You’ll learn a lot of bad things when you get older. –Barnes and Noble, Astor Place Overheard by: Ben You’ll learn all this and more, at 7PM on Wednesday night at the store above. Please come join us as we discuss and sign our new book.
Teen boy: You know where I wanna go? The Marriott. Have you heard of it? It’s in New Jersey.
Teen girl: Oh yeah, you know where I wanna go? The Poconos.
Teen boy: What’s that?
Teen girl: I don’t know, a hotel? –Health Opportunities High School, South Bronx
Old woman: Have you seen Charlie?
Guy: No..he said he was gonna check himself into the hospital, and probably stay for a long time.
Old woman: Because I have some food for him…Now Patrick, have you seen Charlie? I have some food for him.
Old man: Charlie done checked hisself into the psycho ward for two months.
Old woman: I guess I gotta throw the food out then. –Williamsburg Overheard by: Heiny Kleist
Guy #1: Communism is like anarchism. Everyone owns everything.
Guy #2: You dumbass, no one owns anything in anarchism.
Guy #1: So everyone’s poor?
Guy #2: How are you not dead already? –Gay Street