Archive for 2006

Deal or No Deal?

Vendor guy: Yo man, you 420 friendly? Here, here; here’s my card. Call me up.
Girl: Uh, yeah sure. Can I get my change?
Vendor guy: Oh, right, right. Sure.
Dude: Hey man, can I get $4 worth of weed?
Vendor guy: What? Man. What?
Dude: $4 of weed, man.
Vendor guy: What are you talking about, man? I don’t sell weed. What kind of man do you take me for? Buy $4 of weed. man. I’m offended. Especially in front of this beautiful girl. Asking for weed. Man, what’s yo problem? –30th & 8th Overheard by: Justine

In Order: Decaf, Unicorns, and the Tides

Lady: When I was a kid, I would always invent things on the train. I’d tell my mom about them and then a month later they’d get invented.
Chick: Wow, really?
Lady: Yeah. It happened like three times that I talked to my mom about something on the train and then it got invented. –2 train

What’s in a Name, Wednesday One-liners?

Receptionist lady: Don’t you be sayin’ my whole name; I’m on America’s Most Wanted! –NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, West 168th Street Overheard by: supermerm

Wednesday One-liners Found “The One”

Suit on cell: It’s sex: somebody’s always taking advantage of someone else…Oh shit, this girl just gave me a look. That’s gonna be on Overheard tomorrow, I just know it. –45th & Lexington Overheard by: No, not her

Wednesday One-liners See No UHO Money

Hobo: Yeah man, that’s good shit. Except for those white-ass American bandstand drummers. Whoever heard of fucking Clark Kent playing bongos? –55th & 9th Overheard by: Luke Reynolds