Drunk girl: What kind of guys do you like?…What kind of guys do you like? I like guys with big tits. –2nd Avenue & 11th Street Overheard by: vegantoast
Suit: My dick was totally in one hand pissing while I was talking to the client. –48th & Madison
Chick on cell: I need you to give me a ride home when I get off the bus. My grandma has been standing in front of my house for over one hour…I bet you anything she needs money again. –Port Authority Overheard by: Julio
Construction guy: Well, she didn’t sound Chinese over the phone. –Fulton & William
Guy: Did you see that woman? She looked at us like she’d never seen a black man before. –NYU College of Dentistry elevator, East 24th Street
Girl: I can assure you…that at my apartment…there will be soap! –39th & 6th
Guy: Dude, I think I just farted on a model. –Broadway & Bleecker Overheard by: Adam Tetzloff
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this Q train is currently making local stops due to the 12 cups of snow outside. –Q train
Girl on cell: Oh my god, I’m shopping with my mom, and she’s shopping for dildos! –8th & University
Bouncer: You see, the schlemiel is the guy who spills his soup in a restaurant. The schlimazel is the guy who has the soup spilled on him.
–1st & A
Guy: Well, what color was this Jew?
Woman on cell: …That’s just so not my thing. I am not that kind of Jew, Larry, okay?
Overheard by: Nicole
Lady lawyer: This is a disaster. They should never put non-Jews in charge of the catering.
–Office, Rockefeller Plaza
Chick: Come to think of it, all of my Jewish friends went to summer camp. Isn’t that kind of ironic though; Jews at camp?
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Amanda
Teen boy: I want to be Jewish when I grow up.
Overheard by: drewseph
Guy on cell: You deserve a gold Jewish Star of David!…Did you swallow?…Yeah, that’s true, one step at a time.
Overheard by: SEM