Archive for 2006

When You’re Family, You’re in There

Dude: So you gonna give me some fuckin’ money? Give me some fuckin money! I don’t have two quarters to rub together; I can’t
even call my wife. Give me some fuckin’ money!
Lawyer man: I’m not going to give you any money.
Dude: Give me some fuckin’ money! You are my sister! I have no money!
Woman: I’m not giving you any money when you are acting like a criminal.
Restaurant guy: Sir, you need to calm down or I will have to call the police.
Dude: Don’t tell me what to fucking do. I just got out of Rikers Island!
Restaurant guy: Well sir, do you want to go back there? You need to leave or take the conversation outside. –Pasta Lovers, Kew Gardens Overheard by: Amanda

How Isn’t It?

Tourist dad: Oh my god, why does it say Grand Central? Guys, get off the train! Why is it Grand Central?
Chick: If you’re trying to go to Times Square just wait on that platform.
Tourist dad: No, we’re trying to go to Grand Central Station.
Chick: Um, well, you’re here.
Tourist dad: Grand Central Terminal? How is it Grand Central? –7 train

Yeah, Famous Like…Um…

Chick: I know you’ll think I’m crazy, but I just don’t believe that dinosaurs ever existed.
Guy: What? Well, where do you think those dinosaur bones come from?
Chick: People just make them and put them in the ground and then dig them up so they will be famous.
Guy: I can’t believe you’re serious. –Museum of Natural History Overheard by: Kathie Samuelson

Wednesday One-liners Eat Wedding Cake

WASP man: Yeah. I suffered in jail for 16 years with my first wife. My second wife died of cancer after 5 years. I’ve been married to this one a year and a half…Two out of three’s not bad; if this were baseball, I’d be making a mint. –A train Overheard by: Lia

It Reeks of Wednesday One-liners