Voice over PA, as train is pulling out of the station: How you gonna let your child run around like that? You call yourself a mother? I could’ve closed the doors on your child and then what? You would’ve been all sad and shit but I was nice, I chose to keep the doors open. You call yourself a mother… lettin’ your child run around on the subway… –1 train Overheard by: LSB
Man: What’s that you’re putting on your cheesecake?
Woman: My cholesterol medication.
Man: Um… I don’t think that’s how it works. –Carnegie Deli Overheard by: Julie
Girl #1: Hey, we gave your boyfriend a new nickname!
Girl #2: Oh yeah, what?
Girl #1: Puff the Magic Dragon!
Girl #2, slightly exasperated: Oh…is that because of his cock? –Cheap Shots, East Village
Super thin model/actress on cell: Urrgghhh!!! Jonathan left me again [pause] I can’t believe it. [pause] For being too anorexic! Yeah, I thought being anorexic would be hot but apparently I’m now too anorexic. –Union Square Overheard by: benji
Hobo: Damn girl, yo ass look fine in them Levis!
Jappy girl: What? These are True Religion! –47th & Lex
Gangsta #1: Tyrone — he all smart and shit now that he got himself an education!
Gansta #2: How he did that? He go to college?
Gansta #1: Nah, he’s too poor to go to college! Nigga went and got himself locked up so he could get his GED! –Queens-bound N train Overheard by: chingbaby
Put away your skewer jokes — we’ve posted a new contest! Click here to read the entry and submit your headline. The winner of Monday’s contest will be posted this coming Monday. Winners of this and future contests will get a copy of the book Overheard in New York, signed by Morgan Friedman (until we run out).
Drunk Jersey girl #1: I can never submit anything to Overheard in New York
Drunk Jersey girl #2: Why not? You’re in New York more than you’re in Jersey.
Drunk Jersey girl #1: Yeah but by the time I get home I’m drunk and I forget what I heard.
Drunk Jersey girl #2: You’re a fuckin’ mess. Get a laptop. –5th Ave & Union
Fashion queer #1: I wish the new Apple store sold food.
Fashion queer #2: They should sell food — then it would be, like, one-stop-shopping on our lunch hour. –Elevator, 5th & 59th Overheard by: Lubes
Girl on cell: Seriously George, I gained twenty pounds while I was in LA, and now every black guy in the city can’t stop talking to me about my ass!
Guy slowly driving by and waving out window: Oooh girl, you so fiiiine…you gorgeous.
Girl on cell: Jesus Christ! There’s another one! I’ve gotta call you back, I’m going to the gym. –Broadway & Bleeker