Archive for 2006

Now Recruiting: Army of Trashed Spies

Drunk Jersey girl #1: I can never submit anything to Overheard in New York
Drunk Jersey girl #2: Why not? You’re in New York more than you’re in Jersey.
Drunk Jersey girl #1: Yeah but by the time I get home I’m drunk and I forget what I heard.
Drunk Jersey girl #2: You’re a fuckin’ mess. Get a laptop. –5th Ave & Union

The New Crunch Marketing Strategy

Girl on cell: Seriously George, I gained twenty pounds while I was in LA, and now every black guy in the city can’t stop talking to me about my ass!
Guy slowly driving by and waving out window: Oooh girl, you so fiiiine…you gorgeous.
Girl on cell: Jesus Christ! There’s another one! I’ve gotta call you back, I’m going to the gym. –Broadway & Bleeker

He Needs to Work on Lying with Conviction

Guy #1: So this girl comes over and I just want her to give me a blow job.
Guy #2: Yeah, did she do it?
Guy #1: No. She was all like, “I really want to hook up with you, but you won’t respect me if I do.” And I’m just thinking, “Please for the love of God, just suck my dick and I’ll worry about the rest later.” but I obviously can’t say that to her.
Guy #3: Dude, that sucks. It sounds like she’s a total tease.
Guy #1: Yeah. I know man. I really, really just wanted her to suck my dick and she’s worried about all this other stuff.
. . .
Guy #3, as they’re exiting the train: Do you believe we go to law school? –1 train Overheard by: Alison R.