Hootchie: A-Rod’s so hot. Do you see the lips on him? Jeter’s so hot. Tino was the hottest of them all. Even that Knoblauch was cute, remember him? Hell, I’d sleep with any of the Yankees. But you know, I’d draw the line at Yogi Berra. –Yankee Stadium
Thug: God, is there anything wrong with you? Do you have horns?
Thug: A third arm?
Thug: Have you ever been in jail?
Thug: Well, you know, I’ve been in jail…
Chick: Um… –3rd between 13th & 14th Overheard by: Elizabeth Wiederseim
Thug: You as an individual have to decide what is right for you as an individual…You have to decide as an individual whether or not you want to turn yourself in. –Outside 1 Police Plaza Overheard by: Erin
Russian driver: I don’t know, she stop right in front of me.
Cop: She just slammed on the brakes? Why did she do that?
Russian driver: I don’t know, light was yellow. You know, green is go, red is stop, yellow is go faster.
Cop: Sure, absolutely. –21st Ave & 77th St, Bensonhurst Overheard by: Joel
Girl: Gross man, you eating White Castle. Nasty.
Guy: Yeah girl, these is good. I love them.
Girl: Guess you won’t be loving them when the next time you take a shit, your liver comes out too.
Guy: Man, why you hatin’ on White Castle?
Girl: You’ll see. –124th & St. Nicholas Overheard by: Fred Humphrey
Intern suit: So how do I get that pre-freshman to give me a handjob?
Girl: Do you realize that you’re graduating from college soon, and you’re asking me this? –60th & Lex Overheard by: grossed out
Black woman: You cut in front of him because he’s black!
White woman: I did not, I just didn’t see him!
Black woman: You didn’t see him because he’s too black? –Bloomingdale’s
Suit on cell: So I got some of that topical headache medicine. You know, the cream that comes in a giant chapstick tube so you just rub it on your head without getting it on your hands. Well, I don’t know if it worked. I got so much of it in my eyes that I had to spend the rest of the night in the emergency room. –Penn Station
Little girl on bathroom line: Mommy, let’s go in that one.
She points to the men’s room
Mother: No honey, that one is for boys. You can’t go in there until you’re 25 and at a bar and you really have to go. –Panorama, 85th and 2nd
Headline by: Michael Johns
· “Hoochie-mama Knows Best” – senzanome
· “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” – William Levy
· “Daddy Always Lets Me” – David Kafrissen
· “Drew Barrymore at the E.T. Wrap Party” – Marc
· “Old enough to pee, good enough for me” – Big Jacobi
· “Ah, the natural desire to return to your place of conception” – MarcusJ
· “Mind Your Pees And Queues” – Dave Barnette
· “This life lesson brought to you by Bacardi” – RyRy
· “…. And he’s really good looking, or he has coke” – Ryan
· “It’s also OK if you’re dragged” – Steve Estes
· “Don’t forget to put the seat back up when you’re done.” – Deek
· “Therapist session (retroactive)” – noa
· “Passing the Torch” – Jessy B
· “Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarden” – M. Walker
· “Barfly: Generations” – Derek L.
· “Paris Hilton’s First, And Last, Babysitting Gig” – John P.
· “Never To Early To Have Penis Envy” – Brian Drew
· “Void Where Prohibited” – Dave Barnette
· “Or completely out of money” – Natalie
· “How to raise a winner” – Adina C
· “Because that’s how you’ll get respect, honey” – Amanda
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
Woman: Damn, that Mexican is hungry.
Mexican with 10 bags: I’m the delivery boy, you dumb fuck. –100th & Broadway Overheard by: robby b