Archive for 2006

I Couldn’t Find the Roman Numerals on my Keyboard, so I Used Exclamation Marks

Teen boy: Well, I tend to write more sloppily.
Teen girl: Sloppily!? Is that even a word?
Teen boy: It’s an adverb.
Teen girl: Yes, but I said, “Is that even a word?” –Downtown 1 train Overheard by: Trying not to laugh outloud
Headline by: Liz-a-saurus
· “I Can’t Keep up. It’s Like English Has a Different Word For Everything” – john
· “Another Blow to the Adverb Civil Rights Campaign” – Susan
· “It Depends on What Your Definition of ‘Is’ Is…” – NTM
· “Only For Handwriting and Prostitution” – scott
· “Right After That, he Prepositioned Her” – Brik
· “She Gave up on School to Focus on Getting Pregnant” – ak
· “That White Flag You See Is From the Makers of Schoolhouse Rock” – Amanda
· “Wait, I Didn’t Understand. I Had Your Dick in my Ear.” – JBunny
· “Well at Least You’ve Got Great Tits” – Peter
· “You Sure Ask a Lot of Questions For Someone With no Forehead” – weston

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wasn’t Roosevelt a Character on the Early Sesame Street Episodes?

Girl #1, showing Girl #2 a website: Look at how beautiful this place is; it’s in Rhode Island.
Girl #2: I love Rhode Island. I used to go there a lot.
Girl #3: Yuck, why would you go to Rhode Island? That’s where that mental institution is. Why would you want to go there?
Girl #2: No, Rhode Island is a state in our country. You mean Roosevelt Island, and that institution has been closed for, like, ever.

–W 77th St

Wednesday One-Liners Are Working in the Olfactory

Loud girl, about some smelly hipsters: Damn, them muthafuckas is stank. The power of Christ compel that shit. –M96 bus Overheard by: Tommy Guy near street vendor: Dude, that smell. It always smells like mouse or something. –51st & Broadway Overheard by: Atlanta girl Thug teen, to friend who has just farted: Damn, nigga! Yo’ shit smells like hot dog water! –L train Overheard by: lauren cawdrey Shrewd observer: She just looks like she would smell bad. –Astoria Blvd, Queens Ghetto woman on cell: Girl, I knew she would smell like fish the second I saw her! –23rd & 1st