Archive for 2006

Despite Her Mother’s Hints and Suggestions, Lisa Went to Oberlin and Never Returned

Teen girl: I’ve never figured out all those different deodorant smells. Why do you need deodorant with different smells?
Mother: Well, maybe someday you’ll have a boyfriend you’ll want to impress.
Teen girl: By having fruity armpits?
Mother: You never know, he might want to smell them.

–Union Square

‘Cause, Baby…You’s a Heartbreaker

Young man, after unsuccessfully hitting on young woman: Yo, a nurse’s job is to take care of the patients.
Young woman: Mmm hmm.
Young man: Yo, but I’ma be a nurse practitioner. They do the same thing doctors do.
Young woman: Oh?
Young man: I could perform heart surgery on you. Not legally. But I could do it.

–4 train, 2:30 AM

Overheard by: Brandon