Archive for 2006

Must Be an OINY Reader

Tourist #1: Can you take our picture?
Young man: Sure.

Tourists put on “Chinese” hats and make their eyes slanty by pulling at the corners.

Tourists: Ching, chow, chey, high-ya!
Young man: I’m not sure you should do that.
Tourist #1: Do you think they know we’re making fun of them?
Young man: Nooo…I bet they think it’s just what crazy Europeans do when taking pictures.

Young man hands back camera and walks away quickly.

Young man to friend: That was so offensive I think it was funny.


Overheard by: chapster

Nothing Good Ever Follows the Words ‘You People’

Hispanic woman: I love you Chinese people. You don’t gain weight like us Americans. It must be some secret Chinese roots you eat.
Young Asian girl: [Stares quizzically]
Hispanic woman: You people even have all fried food and the sauce, but you stay so skinny. I love Chinese food, but it make me fat. Why it doesn’t make you people fat? It is a Chinese secret; tell me it.
Young Asian girl: I’m actually of Japanese descent, and my family has lived in Jersey since the 1920’s.
Hispanic woman: But you still skinny.

–7 train, 5th Ave/Bryant Park

Overheard by: SandmanEsq

Smart Genes? No, Those Are in the Wash Today.

Mother: Which side do we get out on?
12-Year-Old daughter: Whatever door opens, Mom.
Mother: Yeah, but both doors say they’ll open.
12-Year-Old daughter: Just get out on the side with the platform, Mom. –LIRR Overheard by: vick
Headline by: Spotty Muldoon
· “Dad Went to Harvard; Mom Went to Nassau Community” – bri b
· “God Never Closes a Door Without Confusing a Mother” – Eamon
· “Mind the Generation Gap” – d f
· “Must Be as Smart as This Door to Enter the City” – Amy Stephenson
· “Not a Throw Momma From The Train Fan” – John P.
· “The Other Side Is For the Tourists” – Andrea P
· “Twelve-Year-Old Finally Tells Mom Where to Get Off” – Vince Johnson
· “When She Was Pregnant, She Asked the Fetus Which Hole It Would Come Out Of” – janey
· “Wile E. Coyote Needed This Kind of Help” – DC Wonk

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Why Spending More Money Will Not Improve Education

Teacher #1: So I decided what my big job switch will be in a couple of years.
Teacher #2: What?
Teacher #1: I’m going to be a party planner. Or, someone on the set of a TV show.
Teacher #2: Huh?
Teacher #1: Well, I was watching Rachael Ray the other day, and the camera pulled back, and there was this girl with a headset.
Teacher #2: Yeah?
Teacher #1: And that’s what I want to do. I mean, teaching’s nice, but you don’t really get to interact with anybody, right? It’s just us. And the kids.
Teacher #2: Right.
Teacher #1: Oh, God, when will this train get there? I want to start drinking!

–Uptown 1 train

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

Wednesday One-Liners Make the Cover of People

Tween boy: Then Tom Cruise and Will Smith get married and have babies. –74th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Rachel 3 year old: Ahhh, my mouth is on fire! My mouth is on fire! Help me, Tom Cruise! –89th & Broadway Overheard by: Alex Man to girlfriend: Shit, I like that Martha Stewart. She a gangsta in disguise. –Kmart, Astor Place Guy: He is like the L. Ron Hubbard of Teach for America. –Lenny’s, 77th & 2nd Overheard by: Rebecca Crazy guy: You fuckers don’t deserve to be here! John Lennon died for peace and tolerance! Get the fuck out of here, queers! John died for peace and humanity! — 72nd & Central Park West Overheard by: emily Chick on cell: Yeah, he wouldn’t watch my kid last night because he was hanging out with Wilmer Valderrama. –1st Ave between 12th & 13th Hobo: Betty Boop killed Martin Luther King! –1 train Overheard by: Harriet Vane