Archive for 2006

Mel Gibson’s Dad: ‘Who?’

Male lawyer #1: I’m reading this book that says Hitler’s grandfather was probably a Jewish guy his grandmother worked for as a housemaid.
Female lawyer: Can you imagine how that guy must feel, knowing that he produced Hitler?
Male lawyer #2: I think Hitler would feel worse.
Male lawyer #1: Who gives a shit how Hitler feels?

–Supreme Court, 851 Grand Concourse, Bronx

Overheard by: Big Larry

We Practice the Old Religion of Egypt, Sir

White mom calling seven-year-old girl: Isis, come back over here! Don’t wander off – stay where I can see you!
Black man: Woman, you name me ‘Isis,’ and I wander as far away from you as I can get. I don’t blame that girl. Isis! What kind of name is that for a little white girl? Damn! Now I know white people crazy.

–Central Park

The Kite Was a Nice Touch

Woman #1: I didn’t want to wash my hair today, so I put powder in it, but I put too much. I look like Benjamin Franklin.
Woman #2: No, who’s the electricity guy?
Woman #1: Benjamin Franklin.
Woman #2: Yeah, you look like Benjamin Franklin.

–F train

Overheard by: Bex

It’s Only Fair, Since Attractive People Never Get Any Advantages in Our Society

Woman #1 after Wicked raffle: Ugh, I can’t believe we didn’t win. It really sucks.
Woman #2: I know, I’m totally bummed out.
Woman #1: Well, that one woman, like, really deserved to win because it was her birthday.
Woman #2: And the rest of them were pretty good-looking, too.
Woman #1: Well, just as long as none of them were, like, ugly. I guess then it’s okay.
Woman #2: Yeah, most of them were pretty hot. I’d do them.

–50th & Broadway

Overheard by: T.M.

They Called Him Steve Back Then

Hipster #1: What is ‘Jews for Jesus,’ anyway?
Hipster #2: Well, it’s Jews who believe in Jesus.
Hipster #1: The Old Testament Jesus or the New Testament Jesus?

–Broadway & West 4th St

Overheard by: geneva c.