Teen girl: Now what she needs is a razor dildo. –93rd & Broadway Overheard by: Alissa R.
Hipster guy: Well, Hitler was right, there is a lot of parking in New York. –54th & 10th
Lady: I was fighting with this guy and his dog was in the room; that dog bit me. –Cobble Hill Overheard by: d.luxxe
Professor guy: I was going to give you all a quiz today. But then I realized that it was Valentine’s Day. You’re supposed to do something for the people you love on Valentine’s Day. And of course, I love all of you very much. So…I decided to give you the quiz on pink paper instead! –Columbia University
Hipster girl: She was all, “Yeah, Betsy is my best friend,” and I was like, “Best friend? That is so fucking bourgeois.”
Girl: I know you made it. Look at you. You got a BlackBerry. Yeah, you made it. You got that good-smelling leather.
–Elevator, 12th & 5th
Overheard by: Thirsty Violet
Professor lady: Yes, we’ll be going into debt a lot as the semester goes on.
–Parsons School of Design
Overheard by: Ray
Teen boy: Anyone on this train wanna buy some candy? It’s not for a basketball team or something, it’s for me so I can buy more candy.
Overheard by: Sarah
Intercom: Please take a headset before you get on the plane, because they’re free now. They’re actually free once you get on the plane, but I charge $50 labor for bringing them to you once you’re on. So it’s in your best interests to take one now. Can you tell I’m a happy person?
Chick: I’m not even gonna try applying for a Gap card; they’ll never give it to me. I don’t know what it is about Gap; they always know if you have bad credit.
–The Gap, 34th & Broadway
Overheard by: Dianora
Tween boy: What do you mean, I can’t get anything? I’m the one with a job.
–Key Food, Park Slope
Overheard by: Shack
Daily News guy: Osama Bin Laden in New York! Let’s get him! Saddam Hussein has escaped! –34th & 8th Overheard by: Marlon Disla
Girl: I think my mom’s a virgin. –4 train Overheard by: DRock
Guy #1: I wake up at a quarter to 5 every day.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: I get up to pee.
Guy #2: Every day?
Guy #1: It’s that, or I go in bed. –Liberty & Broadway
Woman: I’ll give you one up the butt if you let me be a stay at home mom.
Man: Once for every year you stay home.
Woman: Once per child.
Man: Once for every two years, or I’ll be the stay at home.
Woman: Fine. –Astor Place
Guy: Yeah, can I get a poppy seed bagel to go?
Counter guy: You want anything on that?
Guy: Uh…poppy seeds. –Deli, 22nd & 6th Overheard by: Kristen