Crossbreeding Humans and Bees: A Cautionary Tale

Woman #1: Ooh, the Macy’s Flower Show is out. We should go see it.
Crazy guy: Psst! Psst! Flowers? I like flowers! Where are they, where can we go see them?
Woman #2: The Macy’s Flower Show is going on right here.
Woman #1: I actually don’t think the Flower Show has started yet.
Crazy guy: Flowers? I like flowers!
Woman #2: It hasn’t started yet but it will be at Macy’s.
Crazy guy: I’ll go in this entrance to see the flowers.
Woman #2: But I don’t think it started yet.
Crazy guy: What entrance are you going in to see the flowers? I like flowers.
Woman 2: I don’t think the Flower Show has started yet.
Crazy guy: Oh. Well I’m gonna go see them cause I like flowers. –33rd & Broadway

She Never Told Him About the Abortion

Clerk guy: Has anyone in this room been convicted of a felony? Come up to the front desk.
Husband: Okay, I’m going to go up there. He returns 5 minutes later. Husband: Hey, I’m all done. I told you you should’ve murdered someone, you’d be out too! –Kings County Supreme Court, Downtown Brooklyn Overheard by: Cassie Nicole

If You're Going to Kill Me, Now's Good

Customer to cashier: See you tomorrow eh? See you tomorrow morning. See you then, see you tomorrow morning.
Customer leaves, following customer to cashier, chuckling: See you tomorrow! Did they say that enough times?
Cashier, laughing weakly: See you tomorrow… yeah.

–Deli, Chelsea


NYC: The Best Restaurants Beget the Best Eating Disorders

Well-dressed girl #1: You know what?
Well-dressed girl #2: What?
Well-dressed girl #1: Throwing up at work really isn’t as bad as it seems. –Prince Street between Lafayette & Mulberry Waif #1: Ugh. I feel so fat…I feel so gross. I’m not going to fit into any of my summer clothes…I’ve been trying to be so good, going to the gym everyday and everything.
Waif #2: You’re not fat.
Waif #1: Yes I am. You can only say that because you’re thin…I ate a salad today for lunch. But then I just ate all of these sweet thingamajiggies. –W train Overheard by: Nora S. Columbia chick on cell: …I mean, like, yesterday I totally pigged out on salad. –116th & Broadway Overheard by: djlindee