Are You Reading Off… an Index Card?

Dude: Hey, good to see you, what’s new?
Goth tranny: Oh, not much. In a new band, we’re looking for a bassist, we have a show on Saturday, my apartment sucks, Joe quit, been trying to lose weight, I need a haircut, it’s my birthday next week, and I’ve been playing World of Warcraft. What about you?

–Halloween Adventure, 11th & 4th Ave

Overheard by: Kate Melvin

So You Should Probably Stop Making Out with Her

Hipster girl: You know Mabel’s dead, right?
Hipster boy: [Snickers.]

–9th St & Ave B

Overheard by: Rebecca Katherine Hirsch


Headline by: troy


Runners-Up:
· “And hen I heard about 9/11 I laughed so hard the milk came out my nose” – David Reitmeyer
· “If I Knew You Were Going To Take That Attitude, I’d Never Have Named The Fetus” – ED
· “Stan never thought about the awkward exchange AFTER you put your girlfriend’s cat in the microwave” – alexcalibur
· “There are people named mabel who are still ALIVE?!” – mimi marquez




Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Isn't That a Little Gay?

Teen #1 shopping in supermarket, to friends: I'm just saying fuck that fucking ass-cock!
Teen #2: Yo, son! Chill with all that loud ass cursing.
Teen #1: Nigga, I don't give a fuck; bitch, fuck, titties, cock, ass, bitch, motherfucker! Fuck pussy ass bitches that don't respect this lil ganster-nigga here! You feel me?!
Teen #2: Okay.
Teen #1 to supermarket worker: Get back to work, nigga, or I'll slap you with my dick and piss on your carrots!

–Pioneer Supermarket, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ricanvelli