Waiter: I’ve got chocolate all over my pants! –Cold Springs
Policeman: “…of course I would accept the money! Do I look like I’m rich?” - Bedford L subway station
Loser: You know something? I like to stick ice together. –Quizno’s, St. Mark’s Place
Young Upper East Sider woman: “And I told her, I want to be a princess!” In front of Normandie Court
Man #1: Are you calling me fat?
Man #2: No.
Man #1: Yo, Joseph. I want a chicken pot pie, too. –KFC, Delancey St.
Yuppie: There is in fact a fundamental difference between Ray’s and Webster’s. One is a series of restaurants that sell pizza; another is a book that you can look up the definitions of words in. –Party, The West Village
Black guy: Tell that nigger my party is tonight in Nochez.
Hispanic guy on cell: Yo, this nigger’s party is tonight in Nochez.
Black woman: Why is the word ‘nigger’ being said so much here? –KFC, Delancey Street
Hispter eating in Bonita in Williamsburg: “…and they have their own vocabulary, using phrases like, ‘hanging out.’”
Chick: Why are you all styled out today?
Guy: That’s what happens when you move up in the world. I got a promotion.
Chick: What are you now, the owner?
Guy: Assistant manager. –Quizno’s, 23rd St.
Young man comes up to the manager of a cafe in Brooklyn sitting next to me, inquires about the “help wanted” ad outside, and during the course of an impromptu job interview says, “I just wanted to tell you that for my emotional health I can’t work too hard, and especially I can’t move my wrists that much. So how hard would I work here?”