Queer #1: Skinny is out. Fat is in.
Queer #2: Skinny is never out. Anorexic… is out.
–TJ Maxx, Chelsea
Overheard by: Ferris
Archive for January, 2007
And It Was a Tragedy
Comedy promoter guy: Gentlemen, are you interested in seeing some comedy?
Guy: I’ve already seen your shitty show!
–78th & Broadway
Or at Least Give You a Series of Ineffective Time-Outs
Kid yelling: What are we doing after dinner? [Parents ignore him] What are we doing after dinner?!
Mom, calmly: Stop yelling, or I’ll have to kill you.
–10th St, between Broadway & University
Overheard by: Calling the Morgue
The Ultimate Anarchist Heads to Work
AM New York hawker: Have a fantastic morning!
Embittered commuter: Stay away from me!
–7th Ave, E/B/D station
Overheard by: Jatmos
Consider Making Your Greeting Less Specific
Homeless guy sleeping in cart wakes up at eight a.m.: Good noon! … Is it noon yet?
Passerby: Not yet, but you’re very close.
–West 4th St
Amelie Finally Decided to Feel Flattered
Handsome thug: Damn, girl, you catch a nigga lookin’ like that.
Confused white hipster girl: Um, thanks?
–Fulton St, Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: Bed-Stuy Do or Die
Well, I Might As Well Go for It Now
College kid #1: So, dude, are you going to do it?
College kid #2: No! I am not going to have sex with my sister! [People waiting in line turn around to look] Awww, fuck.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: B-rett
Like the ’60s, but Not So Fake
Teen latina #1: … And I asked this boy’s name and he was like, ‘Renaissance.’ And I was like, ‘Is that the name your mama gave you?’ And he was like, ‘Yeah, Renaissance.’
Teen latina #2: What’s his name?
Teen latina #1: Renaissance. You know, like… Renaissance. Like… Renaissance. Ren-aissance. Like, when there used to be princesses and shit. Like, they’d dress all… You know, the Renaissance.
–1 train, 103rd St
Overheard by: EthanK
M.E.: I’d Say She’s Been Dead All Weekend
Guy #1: Dude, are you going to that party this weekend?
Guy #2: Oh, yeah. My girlfriend has been sick all week. She was, like, throwing up and coughing up a lung yesterday. I told her, ‘You better not get me fucking sick. I am not missing this party. I will seriously kick your ass if you get me sick.’
Guy #1: What did she say?
Guy #2: I don’t know. She fell asleep or something.
–Lincoln Center
Like the Time I Made Out with a Hungry Kirstie Alley
Hipster girl #1: Are those ginger Altoids? I’ve never had those before.
Hipster girl #2: Yeah, they’re my favorite. Would you like one?
Hipster girl #1: Okay. [A few minutes later] These are really strong! They kind of burn.
Hipster girl #2: Yeah! I love them because it’s like my tongue is being mauled by a bear! Rawr!
Hipster girl #1: Rawr!
–D train