Archive for January, 2007

M.E.: I’d Say She’s Been Dead All Weekend

Guy #1: Dude, are you going to that party this weekend?
Guy #2: Oh, yeah. My girlfriend has been sick all week. She was, like, throwing up and coughing up a lung yesterday. I told her, ‘You better not get me fucking sick. I am not missing this party. I will seriously kick your ass if you get me sick.’
Guy #1: What did she say?
Guy #2: I don’t know. She fell asleep or something.

–Lincoln Center

How She Keeps Him to Herself

Black lady #1: You know Earl?
Black lady #2: [Nods.]
Black lady #1: You know Earl?
Black lady #3: [Nods.]
Black lady #1: You know Earl?
Black lady #4: [Shakes head.]
Black lady #1: You don’t wanna know that mothafuckah — that is one nasty-ass nigga.

–Flatbush Ave-bound 4 train

I Just Like Getting On My Knees Five Times A Day

Hairdresser #1: So, you’re a practicing Muslim?
Hairdresser #2: Yep.
Hairdresser #1: So, do Muslims pray to God, or Mohammed, or both?
Hairdresser #2: I don’t really get into the details.

–East 19th St & Ave R, Brooklyn

Overheard by: brooklyn blonde

Headline by: ilemanzer

· “I pray to Allah Updo and Crewcut Christ” – katcob
· “I’m just into the hating Jews part.” – DaveO
· “I’m more about the accessories” – Ty
· “Islam is in-er than Thai ladyboys this season.” – eyp
· “Neither does the President.” – Becca

Click here to see the new Headline Contest