Archive for February, 2007

Wednesday One-Liners Have a Passion for Fashion

Man on cell: I had a great time last night… Yeah, I got home really late, too. I lost my scarf, but I gained a boa… [Louder] A boa… [Louder still] A boa… Black.

–Q train over Manhattan Bridge

Overheard by: Tyler

Crazy hipster: I always suspected them of wearing coats!

–L train

Overheard by: brian Sabowski

Chick: You know, if you lift your skirt up and the guy still doesn’t respond, maybe you should give up the ghost.

–Marquee, 26th & 10th

Dude: You know, it’s probably because the aluminum foil in your fedora is melting.

–Gramercy Park

Overheard by: i work with this

Girl: I was, like, covered in beer. I didn’t even know where my skirt was.

–6th St & 2nd Ave

Dude on cell: … But when you’re sick, you don’t wear pants.

–Red Cat, 10th Ave

Tourist girl, excited: I just bought this 100 percent cashmere scarf for five bucks! I just gotta find out what kinda fabric it’s made out of.

–Chinatown

Overheard by: Jen & Paul

Wednesday One-Liners for Steve Guttenberg

Tall, broad cop speaking loudly and very slowly to disabled man: Now, if you took that cane and swung it and aimed it, and you hit that guy in the head, that was not an accident.

–Ramp to pedestrian lane of Brooklyn Bridge

Overheard by: Audrey

Traffic cop with megaphone: I never drove one of these things before!

–34th & Broadway

Guy: So, they found him sleeping in the dumpster again so they reported it to his commanding officer. And he’s like, ‘Why is is this officer sleeping in a dumpster when he’s supposed to be out on patrol?’

–N train

Overheard by: sara n.

Perky queer: … So then I played a cop! And I beat a guy up!

–76th & Broadway

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

In Every Job That Must Be Done There Is an Element of Fun

Guy #1 flipping through showbill: So, what else has Mary Poppins done?
Girl #1: Greg*.
Guy #1: What?
Guy #2: Oh, yeah — you know Greg from work? Apparently he did the chick playing Mary Poppins back when they were both living in LA. He lost his virginity to her, in fact.
Girl #2: Wait, wait — you know a dude who cashed in his V card with Mary Poppins? Oh my god, that is just all sorts of awesome!

–Intermission of Mary Poppins