Archive for March, 2007

Good Thing You’re Pretty

Little girl #1 looking at Manhattan Mini Storage poster: Do you know what ‘suburb’ means?
Little girl #2: Sunburns?
Little girl #1: Suburbs. ‘Stuck in the suburbs.’ They’re boring. See that guy in his underwear? His house is in the suburbs.
Little girl #2: Sunburns?

–N train

Overheard by: LSB

This Has Been Another Presentation of Alternate Histories

Man #1: Think about it, though — all great men have a great woman supporting them, giving them confidence, encouraging them. No matter what happens, they know she will be there when they get home at night.
Man #2: Yeah. Imagine if Coretta Scott King had been a nag and laid it on him when he got home at night — Dr. King, with all that shit he was dealing with, would’ve been like, ‘Hell no, I’m movin’ to Cali!’
Man #1: For reals!

–R train

The Gospel According to Johanna

Preppy girl: He was nice — really successful, owns his own apartment… I just wasn’t into him. He kept trying to hook up and I just wanted to be left alone. He proceeded to jerk off into his pajama pants. Oh, and by the way, it took about 40 seconds. I didn’t even have enough time to react. He then rolled over and went to sleep in it! The worst part is that he’s still calling me. Hello, buddy — you jerked off into your own pants and slept in your own cum. Yeah, we’re not gonna work.
Guy friend: That’s awesome! Who can I tell next?

–47th & Lex