Archive for April, 2007

Me: OMG! WTF? Him: Buh-Bye.

Chick: Do you know how I finally realized I was over him?
Friend: How?
Chick: In the past five years this was the first time I didn’t print out our AIM conversation.
Friend: Wow, that’s great.

–Barnes & Noble

Overheard by: Trace

How It Sounds Is Not the Problem

Thug teen with high voice: I didn’t say, ‘Scratch the inside of your butthole.’ I said, ‘Scratch the inside of your asshole.’
Lady friend: What’s the difference?
Thug teen with high voice: ‘Butthole’ make it sound nice and almost innocent. ‘Asshole’ make it sound downright nasty.

–UA movie theater, Sheepshead Bay

Overheard by: The Bling

What Good Is Money If It Can’t Insulate Me from Other People?

Hobo: I have not eaten anything in three days and it’s freezing out. Could you find it in your heart to help me out?
Chick: I won’t give you money, but I will go into that deli and buy you dinner.
Hobo: Thank you so much. But I’m Jewish and if you don’t mind, I would really like a kosher sandwich from Mendy’s.
Chick: Oh, forget it — here’s five bucks!

–34th & Park

Sugar and Spice and Everything Ripe

Teen boy: You know, some guys think it’s cute when a girl farts.
Teen girl: That’s only until they smell it.

–1 train

Overheard by: anna


Headline by: jay


Runners-Up:
· “Dr. Strangelove or How I learned not to worry and love the bomb.” – Pavel
· “Find skidmarks in her panties and you’ve found a keeper” – Girls don’t do #2
· “Smells like teen sphincter” – Leon
· “Then they just get jealous.” – Peacock




Click here to see the new Headline Contest