Archive for April, 2007

He Calls Them “Films”

10-year-old girl #1 referring to Starter for Ten: Oh my god, that movie was really sexy.
10-year-old girl #2: I know! We are lucky it wasn’t X-rated!
10-year-old girl #1: You know, my mom has seen an X-rated movie before, and my dad has one.
10-year-old girl #2: Why does your dad have an X-rated video?
10-year-old girl #1: He’s just really into movies!

–Movie theater restroom, 11th & 3rd

Overheard by: Dara

Alex Trebek Doesn’t Suffer Fools Gladly

Blonde: So, where is she from?
Friend: Croatia.
Blonde: Where’s that?
Friend: It’s, like, by Italy.
Blonde: Ohhh, like Czechoslovakia.
Friend: No, Croatia. Near Bosnia and Serbia.
Blonde: Oh, so it’s like Russia.
Thug: Croatia, bitch! Former Yugoslavia! Remember, they had a civil war and broke up into five countries?
Blonde: [Stares blankly.]
Thug: Jesus Christ, study a fuckin’ map. Even Tara Reid knows where it is.

–6 train

It’s about Footwear? Why Wasn’t I Informed?

Guy #1, about babe passerby: Oooh, hey girl. Excuse me, miss? Miss! [Girl turns around.] Hello. How are you today? [Girl leaves.] Man, not even a hello! What the hell is wrong with women today?
Guy #2: I can’t believe you thought she’d actually talk to you.
Guy #1: Why? I’m good looking.
Guy #2: Dude, you’re wearing Tevas. Shut the fuck up.

–69th & Columbus

So Many People Have Circus PTSD

Hipster girl pointing to old guy with balloons: Those are the kind of balloons that I’m not afraid of.
Hipster guy: What, Mylar ones?
Hipster girl: Yeah. I’m just afraid of regular balloons, but not water balloons, so I guess I’m just afraid of the air.

–F train

Overheard by: tip, tipper, tippest