Archive for April, 2007

It’s about Footwear? Why Wasn’t I Informed?

Guy #1, about babe passerby: Oooh, hey girl. Excuse me, miss? Miss! [Girl turns around.] Hello. How are you today? [Girl leaves.] Man, not even a hello! What the hell is wrong with women today?
Guy #2: I can’t believe you thought she’d actually talk to you.
Guy #1: Why? I’m good looking.
Guy #2: Dude, you’re wearing Tevas. Shut the fuck up.

–69th & Columbus

So Many People Have Circus PTSD

Hipster girl pointing to old guy with balloons: Those are the kind of balloons that I’m not afraid of.
Hipster guy: What, Mylar ones?
Hipster girl: Yeah. I’m just afraid of regular balloons, but not water balloons, so I guess I’m just afraid of the air.

–F train

Overheard by: tip, tipper, tippest

Everyone Who Knows My Wife Feels This Way

English teacher: I tell her I can’t come to bed because I’m working. So basically, the definition [of a Penolopean web] is doing something to avoid doing something you don’t want to do.
Kid: Are you saying you’d rather plan our lessons than have sex with your wife?
English teacher: [Leaves the room.]

–LaGuardia High

Overheard by: ToMuchInfo

I Guess That’s True, Too

20-something guy #1: I used to fuck guys like you in prison.
20-something guy #2: Please. If you had been to prison I don’t think that you would have been the one doing the fucking.
20-something guy #1: I guess that’s true.
20-something chick: Fucking morons.

–Delancey & Orchard

Overheard by: Bang-Around Bob