20-something girl #1: Oooh, I think I see the bus!
20-something girl #2: Yes!
20-something girl #1: Don’t get too excited. I’m not sure I see it yet.
20-something girl #2: I won’t. I mean, it’s just a bus. It’s not like it’s Santa.
–6th & 8th, Park Slope
Archive for July, 2007
See?
Ghetto girl #1: Do you think I could be a saint?
Ghetto girl #2: No.
Ghetto girl #1: Shut up.
–Brooklyn Public Library
You Smell Nice
Man #1: Do you think in a past life you were a lemon?
Man #2: Why do you ask?
Man #1: I was just wondering…
–Starbucks
Are You Sleeping with Anybody Who Looks Like Her Husband?
Chick #1: She yelled at me again!
Chick #2: What did you do?
Chick #1: Nothing. I swear, that woman has a vendetta against me. I must look like somebody her husband is sleeping with.
–Brooklyn Brewery
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Appearance Is All That Really Matters
Blonde: So, I told him for months that this was my weekend.
Brunette: Our weekend.
Blonde: Right, my weekend. So his parents are coming to help him move into his new apartment, and is it bad if I don’t help and I go to the Hamptons instead?
Brunette: No. Did he say anything to make you think that?
Blonde: No, I thought of it on my own.
Brunette: You look super tan.
Blonde: Thanks!
–Equinox gym
Tough Talk from a Guy in a Dungeons and Dragons Tee
Old man: Let the people off the train first! Let the people off first! You know the rules!
Young man: Sir, this is New York. There are no rules. You’re living in a fantasy world.
–1 train, 110th St
Overheard by: Josh H
… When It Comes to Peristalsis
Man sunbather: He’s like 6’6″, very attractive…
Woman sunbather: So does he, like, spontaneously vomit…?
Man sunbather: Let’s just say he’s not the smoothest…
–Turtle Pond, Central Park
Overheard by: Not jumping to date this attractive man.
Yeah, but She’s Got a Kid. Baggage!
Preacher: Blessed be the Virgin Mary.
Guy: Oooh. A virgin!
–125th St station
Overheard by: dibs
Scene from The Devil Wears Prada, Director’s Cut
20-ish WASP in fur coat on cell: Don’t you have a bowl? [Sigh] Do you have a bottle of tonic or, like, an apple or a traffic cone? Well, I’m sure there is something in your apartment I can make a bong out of.
80-ish Jewish woman: That’s an inappropriate conversation if I ever heard one…
20-ish WASP in fur coat: Whatever, that was my boss.
–Elevator, 62nd & 2nd
Oprah Is My Mommy?
Child: I’m king of the world!
Dad: Okay, now come on.
Child: Dad, what’s king of the world?
Dad: It means you’re the boss of everyone.
Child: Oh.
Dad: Your mommy — she’s king of the world.
–DeGraw & Court, Brooklyn