Archive for July, 2007

Especially Since They Had to Keep Pausing to Fight the Dinosaurs

Bimbette #1: … And the pyramids! It’s like, you know, a total miracle! They’re huge! How did they build them without modern day cranes and stuff?
Bimbette #2: Yeah, I know, it’s… mystical! And the same thing with Eiffel Tower. I went to Paris last year, and that thing is just so high! Really, how did they manage to build something like that without equipment?!

–Museum of Natural History

The long version of “I was drunk”

Spunky gay boy: It’s not like I go into the bathroom to nap… But when you’re pooping it’s just, you know, relaxing, and when I start to read on the pot I’m like Pavlov’s dog and I get sleepy!
Skeptical fag hag: That’s no excuse for falling asleep naked on my toilet bowl.
Spunky gay boy: Right.

–C train, Hoyt-Schermerhorn St

Headline by: Gold StaR

Runners-Up:
· “But Thanks For The Highest Rated Youtube Hidden Cam Video.” – Veronica
· “I’m Surprised You Can Do It Away from the Home…I Thought Your People Were Like Cats.” – ImmaculatePizza
· “Pavlov’s Log” – Brian G
· “Ring, Ring. Plop, Plop” – Chris
· “The Roofies I Gave You, Now THAT’s an Excuse.” – Duncan Pflaster
· “Then Whats Your Excuse for Doing It on Mine?” – Lezbotron


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Just for That, No Hamdogs for You

Yankee fan #1: What do you like better — hot dogs or hamburgers?
Yankee fan #2: I like ‘em both, man.
Yankee fan #1: You can’t like ‘em both! Hot dogs and hamburgers are mortal enemies, asshole. Everyone knows that!

–Yankee Stadium