Archive for July, 2007

The long version of “I was drunk”

Spunky gay boy: It’s not like I go into the bathroom to nap… But when you’re pooping it’s just, you know, relaxing, and when I start to read on the pot I’m like Pavlov’s dog and I get sleepy!
Skeptical fag hag: That’s no excuse for falling asleep naked on my toilet bowl.
Spunky gay boy: Right.

–C train, Hoyt-Schermerhorn St

Headline by: Gold StaR

Runners-Up:
· “But Thanks For The Highest Rated Youtube Hidden Cam Video.” – Veronica
· “I’m Surprised You Can Do It Away from the Home…I Thought Your People Were Like Cats.” – ImmaculatePizza
· “Pavlov’s Log” – Brian G
· “Ring, Ring. Plop, Plop” – Chris
· “The Roofies I Gave You, Now THAT’s an Excuse.” – Duncan Pflaster
· “Then Whats Your Excuse for Doing It on Mine?” – Lezbotron


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Just for That, No Hamdogs for You

Yankee fan #1: What do you like better — hot dogs or hamburgers?
Yankee fan #2: I like ‘em both, man.
Yankee fan #1: You can’t like ‘em both! Hot dogs and hamburgers are mortal enemies, asshole. Everyone knows that!

–Yankee Stadium

And, If You Do, Play Dead

Young girl: Are you okay? Are you okay?
Younger girl: [Nods.]
Young girl: Do you wanna have fun? Do you wanna have fun?
Younger girl: Yeah.
Young girl: I have a hint for you: don’t fall down.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Lauren Wurf

He’s the Best Improvisational Lear in the Park

Crazy hobo pointing and screaming at a baby on dad’s shoulder: Fucking bitch! You fucking bitch! Get the fuck out of here, you fucking bitch! You fucking slob!
Father to daughter, laughing: Come on, honey, let’s go!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: tj

Hang On, Eggs Come from Animals?

Girl #1: Is egg dairy? Is that what they’re discussing?
Girl #2: Are they saying egg is meat?
Girl #1: I think it’s in the meat category.
Girl #2: Nooo.
Girl #1: I’m looking for a pyramid… Eggs are in the meat category, and it comes from an animal.
Girl #2: So does milk, though.
Girl #1: An egg can turn into a meat. Milk cannot.
Girl #2: Okay, I’m not discussing this anymore.

–44th & Broadway

Overheard by: esther