Archive for September, 2007

Actually, in Trenton, You Do

Tourist: Is this the 1:13 to Trenton?
Suit: No.
Tourist: Oh, well, where is that?
Suit: Are you just, like, picking track numbers and hoping for the best? Go read the screen, you dumbass.
Tourist: You don’t have to be rude.
Suit: You don’t have to be stupid.

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Erin

Trouble Brewing

Woman #1: He is so sophisticated.
Woman #2: He sounds like he is.
Woman #1: Yeah, like, he loves champagne. I’m just as happy with Colt 45.

–D train

Overheard by: Billy Dee

Checking to See If He Lives with His Mother

Lady: What are you doing today?
Man: Nothing.
Lady, suddenly excited: By the way, do you do laundry?
Man: Yeah, why?
Lady: Well, I never heard you talking about doing your laundry before.
Man: Okay… Why would I want to talk about doing my laundry? [Rolls his eyes.]
Lady, embarrassed: I hate when you’re right.

–D train

Overheard by: Ana

Little Kid: I’m Biding My Time

Queer #1 glaring at nearby smoker lady: Ugh!
Queer #2: I hope she gets cancer. [Woman passes a little kid and enters museum.] That little kid should’ve kicked her.

–Outside the Brooklyn Museum

Overheard by: Caulfield

Girl: That “I’m Really Catholic” Ploy Works Every Time

Dude #1: Did you go home with that girl last night?
Dude #2: Yeah, I was up all night. She was like a fucking porn star — stuck her finger in my ass!
Dude #1: Porn star? That girl had a face fit for radio! And she told me that she was really Catholic!
Dude #2: I told her I’ve only been with two girls, and then I tried to stick it in her ass!
Dude #1: You are a real scumbag!

–36th & 3rd

Overheard by: Peter Persico