Archive for September, 2007

What?! We Don’t Have Our Own Stairs?

Woman #1: Why don’t we take the elevator?
Woman #2: Don’t we have to wait in the line?
Woman #1: Oh, no, we’re faculty. We can just go up.
Guard: Join the line for the elevator, please!
Woman #1: Oh, we’re faculty.
Guard: And you can join the line for the elevator, please.
Woman #1: Ugh. I’ll just walk up to the third floor, then!

–Silver Center, NYU

Thirty Years Late in Some Cases

Tourist woman #1: I don’t understand why people are laughing at everything the characters say.
Tourist woman #2: I know! I think most people are just getting most of the jokes late.

Spamalot, Shubert Theatre

Overheard by: sara

True, but He Only Does It Every Five Days

Guy, about colleague’s showering habits: Yea, you know, I have an eye for that kinda stuff. Need to make sure people stay clean ‘n fresh ’round me. Know what I’m sayin’?
Girl: Are you sure? Because–
Guy: –Nah, yo. He must shower early in the morning or late at night. Or else somewhere in between.

–On the bus

Overheard by: Nabz

I Used to Have Them Backwards, but I Was Dead Wrong

Professor: What words do we get from the name Aphrodite?
Student #1: Hermaphrodite.
Professor: Yes — from the union of Aphrodite and Hermes. What else?
Student #2: Aphrodisiac!
Professor: Good! And what is an aphrodisiac?
Students: [Silence.]
Professor: Are you all Victorians? Come on… What’s it called when one uses something to arouse sexual appetite?
Student #3: Necrophiliac! [Class laughs.]
Professor: I have to advise you to invest in a dictionary, as it’s simply prudent to know the difference between a necrophiliac and an aphrodisiac. Hopefully, you won’t ever need to thank me for that.

–NYU

Overheard by: Cairo

Um, I’m from Thailand

White tween: Everyone has a MySpace.
Asian tween: I don’t have a MySpace.
White tween: You don’t got a MySpace? Why not?
Asian tween: ‘Cause it’s the easiest way to meet sexual predators.
White tween, laughing: Nah, don’t worry. You ain’t ever gonna meet any sexual predators — you’re ugly.

–PS 173 playground, Fresh Meadows