Archive for September, 2007

I Used to Have Them Backwards, but I Was Dead Wrong

Professor: What words do we get from the name Aphrodite?
Student #1: Hermaphrodite.
Professor: Yes — from the union of Aphrodite and Hermes. What else?
Student #2: Aphrodisiac!
Professor: Good! And what is an aphrodisiac?
Students: [Silence.]
Professor: Are you all Victorians? Come on… What’s it called when one uses something to arouse sexual appetite?
Student #3: Necrophiliac! [Class laughs.]
Professor: I have to advise you to invest in a dictionary, as it’s simply prudent to know the difference between a necrophiliac and an aphrodisiac. Hopefully, you won’t ever need to thank me for that.

–NYU

Overheard by: Cairo

Um, I’m from Thailand

White tween: Everyone has a MySpace.
Asian tween: I don’t have a MySpace.
White tween: You don’t got a MySpace? Why not?
Asian tween: ‘Cause it’s the easiest way to meet sexual predators.
White tween, laughing: Nah, don’t worry. You ain’t ever gonna meet any sexual predators — you’re ugly.

–PS 173 playground, Fresh Meadows

Barbara Bush Is So Fucking Self-righteous

Little girl seeing naked cowgirl: Mommy, how come I can see that lady’s boobies?
Mommy: Well, she’s letting everybody know it’s okay to breast feed.

–46th & Broadway

Overheard by: Chadwick Vogel

Headline by: mbobbinson

Runners-Up:
· “…for Tips” – Melissa

· “And Why Did Daddy Just Walk Into a Pole?” – TJ
· “Her Thong Lets Everyone Know Tips Are Appreciated” – Dangello
· “How Come I Can See Her Vagina?” – Peter Madsen
· “Later, She’ll Ride the Mechanical Bull and Serve Us Milkshakes” – Dawn Elizabeth


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Meet the Unmoved Mover of the City

Crazy toothless hobo playing with revolving door: Whoa, I rocked this joint. You like it?
Girl: Fascinating.
Hobo, yelling at traffic a minute later: Keep it moving before I kick you in the nuts!

–Kmart, Astor Pl

It’s Almost Gotten to the Point Where I Can Sit Down Again

Creepy goth guy: Wait, so did he cry when you guys broke up?
Fat chick: Basically, it was like, ‘Things are different now, dude. It’s a complete role reversal. It’s like I’m the guy and you’re the girl, and, quite frankly, I don’t want to put my dick in you.’
Creepy goth guy: Oh, I’ve heard that one before.

–The Met

Overheard by: Shaaaane