Archive for October, 2007

Wednesday One-Liners Are Out Shaking Hands and Kissing Babies

Woman examining broken window on her mini-van: This is bullshit! It’s freakin’ Democrats!

–24th, between 6th & 7th

Overheard by: Michael C.

Chick: Play lacrosse and have gang-bangs with chicks — that’s what Republicans do.

–44th & 5th

Little girl: Is George Bush a Republican or a Dominican?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Carrie

Fat, sweaty guy: Excuse me, people! Sweaty liberal coming through! [Crowd parts.]

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: kiran

40-something tourist to her daughter: All the homeless may be Democrats, but not all Democrats are homeless.

–Canal & Broadway

Overheard by: not yet anyway

Your In-Flight Movie Today Will Be Wednesday One-Liners

Voice over intercom: This is Delta Airlines flight number 1-2-3-4* paging passenger Eric Ansen*. Would you please report to gate D-7? The captain would like to depart. Thank you.

–LaGuardia

Over the intercom: We’d like to welcome you to Atlanta’s Hartsfield International Airport–.
[Voice cuts out, then back in.] We’d like to welcome you to New York’s LaGuardia International Airport…

–Flight from Atlanta, LaGuardia

Pilot: Like any pilot, I like to hear myself talk… All you’re hearing now is ‘Blah, blah, blah.’

–Delta flight, JFK

Overheard by: Lalaith

Pilot: We’re now ready for departure. Flight attendants, please restrain yourselves.

–JFK

Overheard by: Chuckles

Stewardess, sounding surprised during landing: Great job, honey.

–JFK

Just Make Up My Mind, Okay?

Annoyed bimbette: You cannot go out with him! Like, who will go and pick up random guys with me?
Brunette: I’ll still go out with you.
Annoyed bimbette: No, I know you — you’ll say ‘yes’ when he asks you out. You can’t go out with him. Oh, yeah, wait — he’s younger than you. You can get him pussy-whipped like that. You have to go out with him.
Brunette, defeated: Okay.

–S79 bus