Archive for December, 2007

Religion Being Indistinguishable from Marketing

Scientologist man: What would you like your career to be?
Young queer: I’m still not sure. I’d like something that pays millions but doesn’t require any actual work, you know?
Scientologist man: You should aspire to do more with your life if you ever want to be happy. I own my own company, and I love my life.
Young queer: Um, you’re giving out free stress tests in a subway station and attempting to sell some crazy guy’s book. Am I supposed to believe that this is just a hobby of yours?
Scientologist man: Yes. –42nd St station Overheard by: Lolita

She Has Slut-dar

Middle-aged man with suitcases: So, where’s the airport, honey?
Russian chick: Oh my god. Oh my god.
Middle-aged wife: What? Newark Airport?
Russian chick: This isn’t the airport, slut! –Port Authority

That’s Code for, “I’m Lost, Too”

Man: Excuse me, could you tell me where–
Biotech, interrupting: –Look, I don’t have time to make up fake directions. –W Broadway Headline by: Trey Jackson Runners-Up:
· “And This Rudeness Is Two Seconds Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back” – Markle
· “And, Being a New Yorker, I Certainly Won’t Give You Real Ones” – Yana
· “Mapquest’s Employee Of the Month” – Claire
· “Or The Knowledge for Real Ones” – DIck
· “So Take a Left Over There” – emily bess
· “Take a Cab. Be Sure You Tell the Driver You’re from Out Of Town.” – jnr
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Not on a Full Stomach

Law gal #1: This is more pointless than giving a butt-ugly girl a nice haircut.
Law gal #2: Hey, a nice haircut helps.
Law gal #1: Have you looked at me lately? –NYU Law Courtyard