Archive for December, 2007

Justifiably Indignant?

White male customer: I want a small black coffee.
East Indian female cashier: Do you want cream and sugar in that?
White male customer: No, I want it black.
East Indian female cashier: Black?
White male customer, pointing at picture of black man in ad on the wall: Yes, black! I want it to look like that guy!

–Dunkin’ Donuts, 53rd & Lex

Overheard by: next in line

Their Names Are “Delirium” and “Tremens”

Girl: What’s the deal with New York’s bagels, anyway? I mean, they’re delicious! What do you think New Yorkers do differently to their bagels that makes them so… Oh, look at you! You’re too drunk to keep up with me because I’m speaking so rapidly.
Drunk guy: I’m listening to your rabbits!

–NYU

Overheard by: Evan Regas

I’d Ask You Out If Either of Us Had the Energy to Follow Through with It

Hipster boy: He’s such a fucking loser — he just has to admit it. I mean, I’m a loser, and I’m fine with it.
Hipster girl #1: Yeah, it sucks to be a loser and not be cool with him.
Hipster girl #2: I never leave the house anymore.
Hipster boy: Me neither. Last week I bought an antennae for my TV, and sweatpants and weed. I only left the house today because I ran out of milk.
Hipster girl #1: Awesome.

–A train

And He Was a Big Hit

Guy picks himself and his bike up off the street while other people approach…

Latino kid: Damn, son! Did you see that?! Motherfucker just got hit!
White guy: Hit him, too, or just the bike?
Latino kid: Man, that car hit the shit outta that guy! [Answers cell phone] Yo, get down here, son. Some dude just got hit!

–17th & Prospect, Park Slope

Overheard by: Matt Hartwick