Archive for 2007

There Should Be Just One Word Per Meaning

Bimbette: Why does that van say in-valid transportation? Why isn’t it valid?
Friend: That’s not ‘in-valid‘; it’s invalid. They transport invalids. You know, the handicapped.
Bimbette: Well, why don’t they say so?

–Bus, Flatbush Ave, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Big Larry

Just before They Punch Me

Girl: You have to try this pasta I bought. It’s the best dry pasta you’ve ever tasted.
Boy: Best? I’ll try it, but I should warn you — I’m Italian.
Girl: Ugh, Italian people are always saying that!

–Elevator, NYU, Water St

Overheard by: Abram

Or I’ll Be Forced to Learn Something

Dude: So I just wrote, ‘John Locke was a great guy.’
Chick: That’s all you wrote? How many points did you get?
Dude: He gave me eight out of ten! He must have felt sorry for me.
Chick: Wow. I hope the professors at my school are that easy.

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: writing these two out of the social contract

“My Coke Dealer Says” Wouldn’t Have Had the Same Ring

Loud lady: Would you like a tissue? [Guy on phone snivels loudly, shakes head. Lady waves tissue at him.] Excuse me, here’s a tissue.
Guy, covering phone: No, thanks.
Loud lady: Please take the tissue. I hate that noise you’re making. It’s disgusting.
Guy, into phone: Nobody. I’m waiting for the train to move and some woman wants me to blow my nose.
Loud lady: It’s making me sick to look at you. You should be ashamed of yourself. Take the tissue!
Guy, to loud lady: My mom says you’re a rude bitch who should shut the fuck up and go to the next car if you don’t like it! [Lady storms off.]

–N train, Ditmars station, Astoria

Overheard by: A Mother Says What?