Archive for 2007

2008: ‘Clone Your Own Aja’ Kits Go on Sale for 50 Dollars

Ghetto girl: Ladies and gentlemen, sorry to bother you. I am not selling these things to raise money for my school or a basketball team. I am selling them to raise money for me. I have a half-drunk bottle of Sprite, 25 cents.
Ghetto guy: That’s got your saliva in it.
Ghetto girl: I am gonna be famous some day — it will be worth a lot of money.

–C train

Overheard by: eej

No, Ask for More! It’s Free Range!

Enormous black woman clutching frantic feral cat: Who’ll gimme a dollar fo’ this kitten? I know one of ya’lls got a dollar fo’ this kitten. You?! You?!
Confused passerby: Didn’t you get that from the vacant lot behind you?
Enormous black woman clutching frantic feral cat: Shut up, fool! Okay… Fitty cent, then!

–West 153rd St

Overheard by: goofopet

Fucking Lightweight

Chick #1: Are you feeling better? You looked really sick last night.
Chick #2: Yeah, I felt like I got hit by a Tonka truck.
Chick #1: A Tonka truck?
Chick #2: Well, you know, I always exaggerate.
Chick #1, laughing: A Tonka truck is a toy. I think you mean a mack truck.
Chick #2: … No wonder people look at me weird when I say that.

–Ten’s World Class Cabaret

One Wonders Why He Doesn’t Simply Represent Himself

Young black guy #1: Being a lawyer is a no-brain job. They don’t have to know nothing about nothing. Just stand there.
Young black guy #2: Yeah, but I’d like to be a lawyer. I don’t want to go to court or nothing, just have the title.
Young black guy #1: Most lawyers are worse than the criminals they defend.
Young black guy #2: So, what’s happening with your case?
Young black guy #1: It’s getting dismissed, or I’m pleading guilty or something.
Young black guy #2: Yeah?
Young black guy #1: God rest Johnnie Cochran’s soul.

–Food Court, Concourse Plaza, Bronx

Overheard by: Lawyer